Cyberbullying is an unfortunate reality of modern technology, and text messages are prime places where it can occur. Parents, here are the signs that your child is dealing with cyberbullying through texting — and what you can do about it.
How cyberbullying through texts happens
Cyberbullying can happen through SMS, over messaging apps like Snapchat, or through direct messages (DMs) on social media. Here are some ways cyberbullying might show up on text:
Deepfakes. Cyberbullies might use AI technology to create a photo or video that makes it appear like their victim did or said something they didn’t and then distribute it via text. This behavior can even include fake nudes.
Memes. Images and videos created to mock, embarrass, or harass the target may be passed around over text.
Unknown numbers. Cyberbullies sometimes create a veneer of anonymity by blocking their number before sending harassing texts or creating an anonymous social media account to DM their victim.
Texting other people. Cyberbullying doesn’t just include directly messaging a victim. It can also include spreading rumors about the victim by texting classmates and peers.
Revenge porn. If your child sends explicit images or videos to someone over text, it might be later used to cyberbully them. The recipient could broadcast the images or video in a message to others with the aim of humiliating or exploiting your child.
Signs your child is being cyberbullied through text
Here are some red flags to help you recognize if your child is being harassed by a bully over text:
More withdrawn than usual.
Upset during or after using their phone.
Spends more time in their room.
Doesn’t want to go to school.
Suddenly stops using their phone for fun.
Jumpy or nervous when a text alert comes through.
Hides their device from you.
Changes in their mood, sleep, appetite, or behavior.
A slip in grades.
New displays of anger or acting out at home.
What do do if your child is cyberbullied through text
Fortunately, there’s plenty that you can do to support them. For example:
Ask questions
Find out as much as you can about the situation so you can help your kid formulate a plan to deal with it. Focus on open-ended questions and let them lead the conversation as much as possible.
Document what happened
Save screenshots of the messages. Document details like the backstory leading up to the bullying, when it started, and any third parties involved.
Don’t minimize
It’s tempting to try and make your child feel better by minimizing a hurtful situation. But this can feel invalidating. Avoid statements like, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that.”
Be clear it isn’t their fault
Children who are bullied often feel shame and think what happened is somehow due to their own actions. Tell them in no uncertain terms that they don’t deserve to be treated this way, regardless of anything that happened leading up to the bullying.
Block the bully
Help your child block the bully anywhere where they’re connected, including over SMS and on social media. Even if the cyberbullying hasn’t happened on a particular platform, it’s still a good idea to block the bully there because once they’re blocked on one, they may switch to another to continue the bullying.
Tell the appropriate authorities
It may be necessary to involve authorities who can help you address cyberbullying. This might include:
Service providers. Depending on where the texts were sent, alert your cell carrier or the social media company. Cyberbullying violates terms of service for most companies, and they may be able to help block the account.
The school. Depending on their policy on cyberbullying, your child’s school may or may not be willing (or able) to take direct action to help. But alerting them of the situation is helpful regardless, in case things spill over into offline behavior at school.
The police. If cyberbullying involves physical threats, alert law enforcement.
Office of Civil Rights. If the cyberbullying is based on gender, race, or disability, you may be able to get support from the Department of Justice.
Get your child professional support: If your child is suffering emotionally because of cyberbullying, a mental health professional can be a great resource.
How to prevent cyberbullying through text
Here are some things you can do to minimize the risk of your child being bullied via messages:
Manage privacy settings. Help your child set their social media accounts to block messages from strangers.
Talk to your child about the risks of explicit images. Posting or texting explicit images can provide ammunition for cyberbullies. Tell your child that it’s best to keep things PG when they’re communicating online.
Monitor your child’s texts. BrightCanary can help you monitor your child’s texts over SMS and on social media so you can spot any signs of cyberbullying before it escalates.
In short
Parents should educate themselves and their child about cyberbullying including red flags, prevention tips, and how to address it if it occurs. If you’re concerned your child is being bullied through texts, you need BrightCanary — a child safety app for iPhone that uses advanced technology to scan their messages and alert you to any issues. Download BrightCanary and start your free trial today.
