What Is Digital Literacy? How to Teach Kids to Check Their Sources Online

Girl checking phone in bed

Today’s kids are more online than any generation before them. The internet is inextricably linked to nearly every part of their lives. That ever presence means it’s more important than ever to teach your child about digital literacy. But what is digital literacy, and why does it matter?

What is digital literacy?

Digital literacy refers to both the technical and cognitive skills needed to navigate our online world. An important part of digital literacy is the ability to find information online and evaluate the reliability of that information. It also involves knowing how to make smart decisions about sharing information online. 

For today’s kids, digital literacy comes into play with everything from school projects, to YouTube videos, to social media. When kids are skilled in digital literacy, they’re more capable of identifying reputable information and sources.

Why digital literacy matters 

How we seek and share information has changed dramatically in recent years. In addition to resources like books, mainstream newspapers, and network news — all of which go through some form of validation or fact-checking process — we now have endless streams of information from anyone with an internet connection. 

While many of these new online sources are reliable, plenty of others are from self proclaimed “experts” who don’t know their facts. Intentional disinformation, including deepfakes, is also a growing concern. And the rapid rise of artificial intelligence has further muddied the waters, generating information that sounds credible but oftentimes isn’t.  

Here are several ways digital literacy skills help kids navigate this new information landscape: 

Gives them the tools to find reliable information online

The ability to find valid information online is not only useful for schoolwork. It’s a skill that will benefit them for the rest of their lives as they seek information about topics like their health, finances, employment, and news. 

Helps them understand their social feeds and evaluate who they follow

If a person posts a video where they speak authoritatively on a subject, it’s easy to take it at face value. Digital literacy helps kids evaluate the reliability of the people and information that comes across their feeds. For example, if someone is spouting mental health advice but isn’t actually a trained professional, your child should recognize that their information may not be entirely accurate.

Provides a framework for ethical behavior online

Digital literacy is an important component of behaving responsibly in a digital world. It’s the difference between sharing credible information and misinformation. If your child recognizes that a source may not be trustworthy, they’ll know to tread carefully if friends are sharing conspiracy theories or other faulty information.

How to talk to your kids about digital literacy

Digital literacy is such a broad concept that it can be daunting to know how to talk about it with your kids. Start small and build on their learning as they get older. 

Here are some tips to get you started: 

Show them how to find reliable information online 

Teach your kids to look for sites that are backed by reputable organizations and run by people with expertise. It’s also a good idea to check the date on the article to make sure the information is current. Check out these additional tips on evaluating internet resources from Georgetown University Library

Explain deepfakes

Fake videos created by artificial intelligence (aka deepfakes) are on the rise. Teach your kids to be on the lookout for things like odd facial movements or pixelation — a few red flags that the video may be artificially generated. 

Coach them to pause before they post

Pausing to consider the validity of a post before sharing it helps prevent the spread of disinformation. If something online seems unbelievable, there’s a good chance it’s not trustworthy.  

This also goes for original posts that your child makes. Explain that vague posts and unclear online communication can easily cause confusion and conflict. Learning what’s okay to share online and what’s not is a major part of developing digital literacy. 

Talk to them about algorithms

Help your child recognize why certain things come across their feeds. If they begin engaging with fringe theories and inflammatory content creators, they’ll see more of that content on their social media. 

Practice media monitoring 

Stay involved in your child’s online life so you can continue to guide them toward greater digital literacy. Regular tech check-ins and using a child safety app like BrightCanary are great ways to stay in the loop about what your child is up to online. 

Teach your child to be a good digital citizen 

Digital literacy isn’t only about evaluating other’s actions. It’s also about learning to be a responsible member of the online community. Help your children learn to live their values online by being intentional about their behavior.

PBS learning media’s Be MediaWise is a series of digital literacy lessons geared toward kids. The videos are short, fun, and informative. Check them out with your child to continue the conversation on digital literacy. 

The final word 

Like reading and writing, digital literacy is a core skill today’s kids need to succeed in the modern world. Help your child learn to be internet wise by teaching them how to check online sources, protect their privacy, and be a good digital citizen.  

Closeup of teen girl texting on iPhone

If you suspect your child might be deleting their text messages in an attempt to hide them from you, it’s natural to be concerned and want to investigate. If you’re trying to figure out how to see your child’s deleted texts on iPhone (and if you should even read them in the first place), then you’ve come to the right place. This article covers ways to access deleted texts and how to decide if this is the right approach for your circumstances. 

Should I read my child’s deleted texts? 

First things first: spying on your child is generally not a good idea. It’s an invasion of their privacy and could jeopardize the mutual trust you’ve worked to build with them. If you feel it’s necessary to read your child’s deleted texts, it’s important to be transparent with them rather than going behind their back. 

So, how do you decide if it’s necessary to read their deleted texts in the first place? Here are some tips: 

Consider your reasons

The fact that your child is deleting texts probably isn’t enough on its own to warrant trying to access the missing messages. In fact, there are perfectly innocent reasons this may be happening, like the age-appropriate desire for privacy and independence. 

There are, however, concerning reasons they may be concealing messages. If you suspect something more serious like drugs or alcohol, investigating further is a good idea. 

Exhaust other options first

If you suspect your child may be deleting their texts for a concerning reason, your first course of action should be to talk to them. Let them know you’re worried and your priority is their safety. Ask them what’s going on and give them the space to tell you without judgment. 

How to restore deleted texts

After considering the above points, if you still feel it’s necessary to view your child’s deleted texts, here’s how to do it.

Messages app 

Available for: iOS 16 and above. 

How far back you can restore texts: 30 days (in some cases, up to 40)

Steps to restore texts

  • Open the Messages app
  • Tap Edit in the upper-left corner
  • Choose Show Recently Deleted
  • Tap the message(s) you want to recover
  • Select Recover in the lower-right corner
  • Tap Recover Message(s)

iCloud 

How far back you can restore texts: 30 days (in some cases, up to 40)

Important note: Because this method requires factory resetting your child’s iPhone settings, all of the data on their phone will be wiped out. So, it’s important to back up their data first, especially from the Messages app — or you’ll wipe out the very data you’re trying to access.

Steps to back up your child’s data: 

  1. Go to Settings
  2. Tap your child’s name
  3. Go to iCloud
  4. Select Manage Storage > Backups

Steps to restore texts:

  1. Go to Settings > General
  2. Scroll down and select Reset
  3. Select Erase All Content and Settings
  4. Turn on your kid’s iPhone and set it up from the start
  5. On the Apps and Data window, choose Restore from iCloud Backup

BrightCanary 

This is definitely the easiest method to view your child’s deleted texts. (Just two steps!) BrightCanary is also the only child safety app that allows parents to review deleted texts on iOS devices.

How far back it can go: Monitoring begins as soon as your child’s account is connected to BrightCanary. Any texts your child sends, receives, or deletes after that point will remain in their text history. 

Steps to view deleted texts: 

  1. Open the BrightCanary app
  2. On the dashboard, tap text messages
  3. Look for the Deleted tag as you scroll through conversations

If you haven’t set up text message monitoring with BrightCanary yet, here’s how to do it.

Additional steps to monitor your child’s text messages

The best way to monitor your child’s text messages is to be proactive so you don’t need to read their deleted texts in the first place. Here are some ideas: 

  • Encourage open communication. When your child first gets their phone, make it clear your goal is to help them learn to use it safely. Encourage them to come to you with any problems.
  • Digital safety check-ins. Make it a point to regularly sit down with your child to look at their phone together and talk about how they’re using it.
  • Download BrightCanary. BrightCanary uses advanced technology to monitor your child’s text messages and alert you to any issues so you can head them off before they become a problem. 

The bottom line

The best approach to monitoring your child’s text messages is open communication and the use of a monitoring app, such as BrightCanary. If you’re concerned and feel the need to read your child’s deleted texts, it’s best to be transparent with them about it first. 

Girl looking at phone under blanket in dark

No, that’s not a typo. We don’t mean phishing. Smishing — phishing’s younger sibling — is an increasingly common form of cyberattack and one parents need to know about so they can help their kids stay safe. But what is smishing? Read on to learn what this scam entails and how to prevent it from happening to your child. 

What is smishing? 

Like phishing, smishing is when a scammer sends a message attempting to steal information or money. But instead of using email, smishing is conducted over text. 

Smishing gained its moniker because texting is also known as SMS (short message services). Scammers send messages, often including a link, to elicit the recipient to provide personal information. 

Smishing is a relatively new phenomenon and one that’s on the rise. As spam filters have become increasingly sophisticated, it’s now much harder for email and phone scams to reach their intended targets. People are also much more likely to click on texts than they are email links. “Smishers” know this and take full advantage. 

Examples of smishing scams

There are a number of common smishing scams. Here are a few that are most likely to fool kids:

Pretending to be locked out of an account

These scams use multifactor authentication (MFA) to commit fraud. For smishers to pull this off, they must first obtain a victim’s username and password. Then, they pose as someone the victim knows, claiming to be locked out of their Instagram or Facebook account. They ask the victim to receive the code for them and pass it on. 

Posing as customer support

Smishers may pretend to be customer service agents, choosing trusted brands like Amazon, Microsoft, or the victim’s wireless provider to try and catch the target off guard. It’s common for these messages to claim there’s a problem with the victim’s account or that they’re owed a refund or other unclaimed reward. These texts typically include a link that routes the victim to a fake website. There, the person is prompted to enter their credit card or banking information. 

Pretending to text the wrong number

Scammers play the long game on this one, often over months or even years. They send a text that looks like it’s meant for someone else. When the victim responds that it’s the wrong number, the smisher strikes up a text conversation with the victim, attempting to gain their trust, friendship, or romantic affection. They then try to steal the victim’s money with a bogus request like asking to borrow money for a personal emergency.

Posing as a shipper

For this type of scam, smishers pretend to be a common shipping company and claim there was an issue delivering a package. They say the recipient must pay a “delivery fee” or sign in to their account in order to get their package. Of course, the links go to fake sites where the smishers take the money or account information and disappear. 

Pretending to offer free apps

All those apps your teen likes to download could open them up to scams. Sometimes, smishers try to trick people into downloading seemingly legitimate apps that are actually malware or ransomware

How to talk to your child about smishing

It’s critical that parents talk to their child about smishing and other scams and teach them how to protect themselves. Here are some talking points:

  • Look at the URL. If a URL doesn’t match the website of the company the text is claiming to be from, that’s a red flag.
  • Check the spelling. Misspelled words in the URL or on the website itself are an indicator it might be a scam. 
  • Keep passwords under wraps. Teach your child they should never share their password with anyone (except their parents). 
  • Don’t share personal information. Talk with your kid about the importance of not sharing any personal information online or over text. 

In addition to talking to kids about online safety, parents should also monitor their child’s phone to watch for any red flags. BrightCanary uses advanced technology to scan your child’s texts and let you know if there’s a problem.

What to do if your child is a victim of smishing

If you think your child has been the victim of a smishing (or any type of scam), it’s important to report it. Here’s how:

  • For sextortion or other forms of abuse: Contact the your local FBI field office or call 1-800-CALL-FBI or report it online tips.fbi.gov.
  • For financial scams: Contact your bank and report the scam. Ask your bank to reverse the charges, then report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission. You can report the scam online or by calling 1-877-382-4357.

The bottom line

Smishing scams are on the rise. In comparison to phishing, which can take place over email or phone, smishing happens over text messages. Parents need to be aware of them so they can help their kids stay protected. 

Teen boy looking at phone

If it feels like your previously communicative kiddo suddenly turned into the silent type when they became a teenager, you’re not alone. It’s common for teens to have a hard time talking to their parents.

Texting is often a good way to get them to open up because it removes a lot of the things that make communicating face-to-face difficult for teens. For example, teens may have a difficult time accurately interpreting adult’s tone and facial expressions. Texting eliminates that barrier. 

But before you fire up your thumbs and start texting your kid, here are some important things you should know about texting teens:

1. Punctuation? What punctuation? 

It turns out teens have a lot of feelings about punctuation in texts. Here are some of the unofficial punctuation rules for texting your teen:

  • Don’t end with a period. Period. While the mid-text period is (fortunately) still allowed, ending a text with a period can cause teens to feel like what you’re saying is serious or worry that you might be mad. It may even come across as rude
  • Ellipses are stressful. When adults end a text with three dots, well … it can leave teens with too much to figure out. They often wonder what you’re leaving unsaid, and it can make them anxious.
  • Don’t overdo it. Teens use punctuation very sparingly when they text. Receiving a text with too much punctuation can be off-putting for them. A combo question-mark-and-exclamation-point seems to be especially upsetting to the younger set. 
  • They love exclamation points! So! Much! Although exclamation points might feel aggressive to the adult eye, to teens they are an unambiguous sign of enthusiasm and positivity! (Except when you’re mad at them. They can tell when an exclamation point means you’re yelling.)

2. Capitalization is out

It’s pretty common for teens to text in all lowercase. (I know!) They may not expect you to match them in eschewing capital letters, but don’t give them a hard time when they do it — it’s just texting culture. 

3. Tread lightly with emoji 

Don’t tell my 74-year-old father, but it is, in fact, possible to overdo it with emoji — especially when you’re communicating with Gen Alpha. Too many can earn you a giant eye roll. And if you do use emoji, please, I beg of you, make sure you know what they mean

4. Go crazy with Bitmoji

For all their skepticism of emoji, it turns out teens are wild about Bitmoji and find it hilarious when their parents use them in texts. 

What is Bitmoji, you ask? It’s an app which allows you to personalize an avatar that looks like you, and you can use it to convey a whole host of things over text. 

See, here’s me writing about my feelings toward all-lowercase texting:

5. Don’t leave them on read. 

Getting “left on read” means sending a text to someone without getting a response back, even though the sender can see the other person received the message. Teens don’t like to be ignored over text, and they get upset when you leave them on read. (Sound familiar?) It helps to let them know realistic timelines for replying. 

6. Memes. Memes. Memes.

Memes are another beloved form of visual communication among teens — one that they’ve taken to a whole new level. They use memes to express a variety of emotions, from humor to fear. Memes can also help teens engage with and talk about difficult subjects in a way that’s less overwhelming. Your teen might groan the first few times you send memes, but they’ll appreciate that you’re trying to speak their language.

7. Don’t be a parrot. 

It can be tempting to try and talk like your teen as a way to connect. But this can backfire. It’s okay to just use words and phrases that are true to how you really communicate. But if you really want to use the same slang you hear from your kids, be sure to confirm what it means first

teen with phone over face

Parenting tweens and early teens is difficult and requires a nuanced approach because every kid matures differently. This is especially true for devices. As parents consider what’s right for their child, they may choose to read their kid’s texts when they’re first starting out with a phone. If your child has a phone and you want to read their texts, here are some things to keep in mind.

Should I read my 12-year-old’s text messages?

While there are plenty of solid reasons for 12-year-olds to have a phone, this age also needs the most guardrails, including close monitoring of their texts. At this age, you want to be more hands-on, reviewing who they’re texting and what the conversations are about.

Here are some tips for supervising your 12-year-old’s texts: 

  • Know who they’re messaging: There’s little reason for a 12-year-old to message someone their parents don’t know. If they make a new friend and want to exchange numbers, you need to be kept in the loop. 
  • Have safety check-ins: Regularly sit with your child to look at their texts together and identify areas they need support. 
  • Set up text monitoring: BrightCanary monitors your child’s texts and alerts you to problems. Transparency is key here — this isn’t about spying, it’s about collaborating with your child to support them and keep them safe. Show them how you’ll use BrightCanary and what you’re looking for. You can use the app to read individual text threads, or just skim anything the app flags as concerning.
  • Teach texting etiquette: Just like your parents taught you how to answer a landline, your kid needs guidance on the dos and don’ts of texting.  

Should you read your 13-year-old’s text messages?

It’s a teenager’s job to push for freedom, and it’s a parent’s job to regulate that freedom so they can safely spread their wings. At this age, you may want to give them more independence and autonomy with their messaging if they’ve demonstrated their maturity and can follow family rules.

Here are some ways to strike a balance between texting privileges and rules:

  • Past as a predictor: If your child’s a rule follower — especially if they’ve been good about respecting device boundaries — it’s an indication they’re ready for more phone freedom.
  • Find opportunities for independence: Giving your child more freedom with their phone helps them learn responsibility. For example, they no longer have you let you know if they’re texting someone new, as long as it’s someone they know in real life.
  • Monitoring is still important: Parental monitoring allows you to give your child some space while still supporting them. It also means you don’t need to read every single text message — BrightCanary does that for you and alerts you to any issues. 

Should I read my 14-year-old’s text messages? 

The leap in maturity between 13 and 14 years old varies widely from kid to kid. Some kids may still need a level of close supervision. Here are some ways to decide how involved to be in your 14-year-old’s texts: 

  • Personalize your approach: Assess your child’s ability to follow rules and behave responsibly with their phone as you decide whether to grant them more freedom. 
  • Don’t totally cut the cord: If you do choose to pull back on reading their messages, use a monitoring app to alert you if your child encounters any dangers in their messages, like cyberbullying and drug references.

What to watch for 

No matter how mature and responsible your child is, there are some topics you’ll want to monitor even through their late teens. Suicidal ideation, self harm, and drugs are top on that list. 

But that doesn’t mean hovering. Reading every text may be an option when your child is younger, but they need some privacy as they grow older. Text message monitoring allows you to give your child autonomy and step in when anything potentially dangerous is detected. 

What you can ignore

Depending on your family’s values, some things you encounter in your child’s texts may be no big deal, such as moderate profanity or violence in the sports they follow. It’s okay to let some stuff go. 

You know your child best, and every family has different ideas of what’s acceptable. Some monitoring apps allow you to customize what topics it scans for based on your priorities, so you’ll get fewer alerts for swear words but more alerts for potential dangers like self-harm and drugs.

How to read your tween’s text messages

There are three main ways to monitor your tween’s text messages, and they work best in conjunction with each other. 

  • Scheduled check-ins. These are set times where you sit with your child and look at their device together. You can use this time to talk to them about who they’re messaging, what they’re interested in, and any challenges they may have faced.
  • Spot-checks. Especially for younger kids, many parents periodically look at their child’s messages to get a feel for what’s up. This should never be done in secret, though — spying is a surefire way to damage trust between you and your child.
  • Monitoring apps. BrightCanary not only monitors your kid’s texts on iPhone, but it also scans their social media, YouTube, and Google. 

The takeaway

Parents should tailor their approach to reading their child’s texts based on their age, maturity, and temperament. Apps like BrightCanary are a great companion to other monitoring efforts, like regular check-ins and conversations about online safety. 

dad next to son in front of car

If you’ve been monitoring your child’s phone since they were young, great job! But now they’re getting older, and they may want (and need) more freedom. Read on for tips on how to decide when to stop checking your child’s phone and how to support your teen online as they mature. 

Minimum age to stop monitoring your child’s phone 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), parents should monitor their children’s social media until at least age 15. But not all children mature at the same rate. It’s not like a magical switch gets flipped on their 15th birthday, suddenly turning them into a responsible, independent young person. The human brain actually continues developing until around age 25.

Some children need a parent’s support longer than their peers do. In fact, a majority of parents who responded to a PC Magazine survey said they believed parents should actively monitor their child’s tech use until age 18. So, it’s up to parents to make a judgment call based on their child.

Deciding what’s right for your family 

Chronological age is different from age of maturity, so there’s no hard-and-fast rule on when your child will be ready for you to stop monitoring their phone. (Wouldn’t it be easier if there were?) 

Here are some factors to help you decide: 

  • Personal safety risks: Consider your child’s friend group and the apps and websites they frequent to assess their likelihood of exposure to online risks. For example, if your child primarily interacts online with a close-knit group of responsible peers, their risk is likely lower.
  • Do they follow tech rules? Think about how smooth your child’s phone journey has been so far. Have they been great about following your tech rules and managed to avoid trouble online? If they have run into issues, how did they handle it? 
  • Are they generally responsible? Personality comes into play quite a bit when deciding to loosen up on monitoring your child’s phone. If your kid is the responsible type (online and off), they might be ready for more phone freedom sooner than a peer who has difficulty managing themselves.
  • Maturity level: Some children practically emerge from the womb as little adults, while others take their sweet time growing up. If your child hasn’t reached the maturity level of their peers yet, that’s okay! It just means they may need phone monitoring a bit longer. 
  • Are they open with you? A big factor is trusting your child will seek help when they run into trouble online. If you’re confident they’ll keep you in the loop if anything goes sideways, it’s probably fine to take a step back. 
  • Impulsivity and decision-making skills: Basically, this comes down to whether your child has a good head on their shoulders. If they tend to be more impulsive and demonstrate questionable decision-making skills, they likely still need adult support online. 

Even if your child still needs you to actively monitor their phone, it’s also important to prepare them for adulthood. As they grow older and display more maturity, look at ways to increase their autonomy and privacy. 

Supporting your older teen online 

As your child matures and you become more hands-off with their phone, there are some issues you’ll want to continue checking in with them about. This includes asking about their mental health and any challenges they may face online. 

Fortunately, you can reduce your direct involvement while staying supportive. Start by keeping communication open. With less monitoring from you, it’s more important than ever that your child knows they can come to you if they run into trouble online. Make it clear you’ll support them without judgment. Period. 

Check-in regularly. Ask your child what’s going on in their life — including online. We recommend having online safety check-ins on a regular cadence that works for your family.

Finally, use a customizable monitoring app. BrightCanary allows you to give your child space while keeping an eye on the big stuff. You can monitor their online activity, or you can just review the content reports that summarize potential red flags. After all, you may not feel the need to read all their texts, but you still want to know if your child encounters anything dangerous like drugs content or self-harm content.

The bottom line

Most children still need some level of parental monitoring beyond the age of 15. It’s also important for kids to have freedom and privacy as they get older so they can mature into adulthood. Parents of older teens should continue to check in with their child on major issues like mental health, while looking for ways to increase their autonomy.

teen girl looking at phone with boys in background

You know that it’s a good idea to set rules around device use, like screen time limits and making sure your child is watching age-appropriate content. But should parents monitor their children’s phones? This question is a hot debate in parenting circles. It’s likely one you’ve asked yourself. 

Forget for a moment about what your mom thread or the Reddit boards have to say. Instead, let’s dive into what the statistics say, what the research tells us, and what the experts recommend, so you can make an informed decision when it comes to your own child. 

What experts recommend

As more and more research emerges about the negative impacts of excessive phone use, experts now widely recommend supervising and limiting phone use for children. 

For kids over the age of six, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recommends that parents limit screen-based activities for their children and instead encourage them to form healthy, offline habits. 

When it comes to explicit advice about monitoring, the American Psychological Association (APA) suggests that parents should monitor social media accounts for all kids under 15.

There aren’t strict recommendations about how much screen time kids should get each day, which makes regular monitoring even more important. Dr. Jenny Radesky, who researches how kids use media and technology, said in an interview with Today that parents should “focus on quality rather than the overall amount of time … The more important question is, what is the activity the child is doing?”

Phone use and children’s mental health 

It’s clear that experts believe parents should monitor their children’s phones. But why have so many of them taken that stance in recent years? 

For one thing, the data show a steep increase in anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide among adolescents in recent years, hitting Gen Z the hardest. Experts have proposed a connection between this alarming trend and the corresponding rise in smartphones and social media. 

Research further supports those claims. For example, studies have shown that increased social media use is a reliable predictor of worse sleep, poor body image, low self-esteem, and increased symptoms of depression among adolescents. The U.S. Surgeon General recently weighed in, warning that social media is contributing to the youth mental health crisis. 

And the impacts of phone use by adolescents extends beyond their childhood. This global study of over 27,000 young adults found a link between early phone use and worse mental health outcomes in adulthood. 

While this all might sound alarming, research also offers hope. An analysis of existing research, published in the International Journal of Behavioral Development, found that parental monitoring can lower depressive symptoms and lead to fewer risky behaviors. 

What should parents do?

Given the clear and compelling reasons parents should supervise their kids on their devices, let’s dive into how that can be accomplished. Here are specific actions you can take to keep your child safe and healthy on their phone:

  • Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. When it comes to safety, something is better than nothing. Start by taking stock of what you currently do to monitor your child’s phone (even if it’s nothing) and look at ways you can add to or refine your efforts. If you’re overwhelmed by it, start incrementally and build from there.
  • Be willing to adjust. Remember, the goal is not 100% perfection at all times. It’s about staying engaged with your child’s phone use and supporting them as they form their own healthy habits. Don’t be afraid to tweak your efforts as you see what’s working and what isn’t. 
  • Practice tech check-ins. A great way to monitor your child’s phone and help teach them good habits at the same time is to do regular tech check-ins. These are designated times when you sit with your child to look at their device together and discuss their online activity. 
  • Consider using a child safety app. BrightCanary uses AI technology to remotely monitor your child’s YouTube, Google, social media, and texts, alerting you if there’s an issue so you can follow up. 
  • Take advantage of parental control settings. Make sure you’re optimizing the parental controls both on your child’s device as well as on individual apps they use.  

In short

Experts recommend parents monitor their children’s phone use and those recommendations are born out by the research. Parents should take steps to keep their children safe and healthy on their phones, including regular check-ins and use of monitoring apps.  

Child using iPad in bed

The term “iPad kid” is all over TikTok right now, thanks in part to the viral rants of Gen Z against what they see as a troubling trend in the generation below them. But what exactly is an iPad Kid? Should parents of young children be worried? And what should you do if you suspect you’re raising an iPad kid?  

What does iPad kid mean?

The term “iPad kid” loosely refers to certain Gen Alpha children — those born since 2010 — who seem constantly glued to their tablets, want technological stimulation at all times, and become upset when their devices are taken away. 

The term also includes observations about how easy access to technology can impact parenting choices. Specifically, when parents routinely rely on devices to ease or avoid difficult moments, they sacrifice opportunities for their child to develop vital skills — like learning how to entertain themselves when they’re bored or behave appropriately in social situations. 

Why parents should be concerned 

Experts point to negative consequences of excessive screen time and overreliance on technology for kids, including tablets and iPads. Some of the risks include: 

Impact on behavior and interpersonal skills 

We’ve all seen the kid watching an iPad at a restaurant while their parents enjoy a meal. 

While it’s totally understandable that overwhelmed and under-supported parents would want a bite in peace, there’s a downside to this convenience: it robs children of the chance to learn etiquette and proper behavior in public. 

Observing and participating in dinner table conversation is also an important way that kids develop interpersonal skills, which they miss if they’re constantly on a device during social hour. 

Additionally, when screens are regularly used to distract kids in situations that require them to wait, they may not develop basic skills such as patience and the ability to manage their frustrations.

Lack of coping skills

When parents hand their child a device the minute they start to get upset, the child misses a chance to develop important coping skills like self-soothing and paying attention to their emotions. Instead, they learn to use screens to manage difficult feelings. 

Less creativity

Boredom helps kids develop important skills, chiefly creativity. If they turn to screens the minute they feel an inkling of boredom, they miss the chance to find creative ways to occupy themselves. 

Underdeveloped motor skills and visual perception

For kids under three, too much time spent in the two-dimensional world of devices can lead to less developed fine motor skills and a lack of visual spatial awareness. Motor development and perceptual skills are developmentally important for kids, and they develop, in part, by interacting with the real world — not screens.

Eye doctors have noted an uptick in short sightedness among children, citing increased screen time as a major contributing factor. 

Warning signs your child might be an iPad kid

If you’re concerned your child might be too dependent on a device, here are some signs to watch for: 

  • Resists engaging in non-screen activities
  • Difficulty controlling their screen time — you set limits, but they can’t deal
  • Hard time transitioning from screen time to their next task
  • Increasingly preoccupied with screens at the expense of real-world interactions
  • Melts down when their screen is taken away
  • Loss of interest in other activities 
  • Shows signs of withdrawal, such as irritability, mood changes, trouble sleeping, headaches, and depression or anxiety

What to do if you’re worried about your child’s screen time

It might be tempting to swing the pendulum in the other direction and issue an outright screen ban. But this can backfire and cause kids to use devices in secret, reducing the chance they’ll reach out to you for help if they encounter any problems online. 

Banning screens entirely also means they miss out on the positive impacts of technology, like learning about new interests and talking to friends. It also limits your ability to teach them how to use devices responsibly — a necessary skill in our modern world. 

Instead, rebalance your family’s relationship with devices using these tips: 

  • Establish appropriate screen time limits.
  • Set a good example by being mindful of your own screen usage. 
  • Help your child select age-appropriate content
  • Turn off autoplay on your child’s device. 
  • Set up parental controls to help regulate screen time and what your child watches. 
  • Use a parental monitoring app like BrightCanary to help you keep tabs on what your child is doing online.  
  • Raising a child takes a village. If possible, reach out for parenting support in your community so you don’t feel as much need to rely on technology. 

In short

The term “iPad kids” refers to a troubling trend of kids who are over-reliant on tablets. Parents should be mindful of their child’s device use and take steps to help them develop healthier screen time habits. 

Mother and daughter talking on couch

Parenting in the digital age is hard. When to let your child have their first phone, setting screen time limits, and deciding whether to monitor your kid’s device are among the difficult choices parents must make. But how do you navigate co-parenting and cell phones? 

It’s common for parents to disagree on these issues, but separation or divorce adds even more complexity to maneuver. In fact, family law experts cite decisions about the use of devices as one of the most significant sources of conflict during divorce. 

Hard as it may be, it’s vital that parents get on the same page about digital parenting rules. Read on for tips on negotiating the tricky waters of co-parenting and cell phone rules. 

Why it’s important to set rules with your child’s devices

Children need boundaries. Not only do they help keep kids safe (and help them feel safe), but they’re also an important part of development. Boundaries help children develop self-discipline and learn to set their own limits. 

When it comes to boundaries, technology is no exception. From safety issues like online predators to the negative consequences of too much tech, the evidence is clear that children need rules in the digital world. 

Why it’s important for co-parents to align on rules

You and your co-parent may not see eye-to-eye on things like how much screen time is okay for your child or what apps they’re allowed to download. But it’s important to find a middle ground, rather than arguing or talking behind each other’s back. 

Research consistently points to the fact that parental conflict negatively affects children. Although conflict is normal and inevitable, how you fight matters. The biggest concern when it comes to children is destructive and unresolved conflicts between parents. These can contribute to a child’s emotional insecurity, which may lead to difficulties managing their emotions and behavior, mental health problems, and social and academic struggles. 

If you’re actively going through a divorce or separation with your co-parent, this major transition can further overwhelm your child. 

Children may not admit to liking boundaries, but they do need them; they make a child feel secure. On the other hand, unclear and inconsistent boundaries can set the stage for power struggles and conflict with your child. Therefore, it’s important to do everything you can to present a civil, united front with your co-parent. 

Essential tips for co-parenting and cell phones

Here are some tips on how to collaborate with your co-parent to create digital boundaries for your child: 

  • Don’t be afraid to set rules: Oftentimes, divorced or separated parents have a difficult time saying no to their child. But remember that limits are important for children’s safety, security, and development. 
  • Focus on the facts: Leaning on the evidence helps remove emotion from digital parenting decisions. Come to the conversation with information on healthy screen time limits, responsible social media use, and cell phone monitoring. 
  • Take it slow: If things are particularly contentious, it can help to spread the discussion over multiple settings, focusing on one tech issue at a time. 
  • Put your child first: Remember, this is about your child’s wellbeing, not about winning an argument with your ex. 
  • Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.:If your efforts aren’t getting you anywhere, consider enlisting the help of a therapist, attorney, or mediator. 

How to present a unified front

It’s important to present a united front to your child, both while you’re hashing out digital rules and after you’ve come to an agreement that you and your co-parent can both live with. 

Here are some tips: 

Don’t burden your child with your problems 

Arguments between parents are adult issues. Keep your kid out of it, and resist the urge to badmouth your co-parent around your child. Not only is it emotionally harmful for your child to feel like they have to act as the go-between in parental conflict, but it’s also difficult to convince them to follow the rules if they know you disagreed when setting them in the first place.  

Be clear and consistent

It’s important to implement the new boundaries clearly and enforce them consistently.  Consider putting your new rules in writing. Documenting expectations about digital behavior helps minimize future conflict and creates accountability for everyone involved. Including the rules, expectations, and consequences in a digital device contract that you, your co-parent, and your child regularly review and discuss.

Get digital support 

Using a monitoring app ensures you and your co-parent operate with the same set of facts about your child’s online behavior, which can minimize conflict when enforcing digital rules. BrightCanary helps you supervise your child’s text messages on Apple devices, plus their activity on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Google.

With BrightCanary, you can share a subscription with your co-parent if you have Apple Family Sharing enabled in your iCloud settings. You’ll both need to create separate BrightCanary accounts and log into the platforms you wish to monitor for your child. Once set up, you can review their online activity and receive alerts for any concerning content directly from your phones.

The takeaway 

Divorce and separation add to the difficulty of setting and enforcing digital parenting rules. But it’s important that co-parents align on tech boundaries and present a united front to their child. 

Two girls looking at phone

You set limits with Apple Screen Time, but you have a suspicion that it’s not working the way it should. Now, you’re wondering, “Can my child turn off Screen Time?” If you’re frustrated that your child keeps finding a way around their screen time limits, you’re not alone. Our digital natives are good at staying a step ahead of us when it comes to tech. Read on to learn some common ways kids turn off Screen Time and what parents can do about it.

How kids hack Apple Screen Time limits 

Here are some ways your child might try to work around their device restrictions:

Hacking the passcode

You can set a passcode so your child can’t easily get past their Screen Time limits, but passcodes aren’t foolproof. Your child can learn the passcode by looking over your shoulder, screen recording to capture you entering the code, or old-fashioned deduction skills.

Shared notes and screenshots

Even if you’ve restricted certain messaging apps, kids can still find ways to communicate with friends after-hours. By creating a shared note with a friend, anything either of them types in the note is visible to the other person. 

Plus, if your kid takes a screenshot (of anything) and shares it, the screenshot will be sent as a text. Your kid can add a message to it, even if they’ve reached their limit on messages. 

One More Minute

When kids reach their limit, they can hit Ask For More Time and then select One More Minute to eek out a little extra time. 

Using Siri 

Kids can still use Siri to send messages after their limit. 

Deleting and reinstalling apps 

Deleting and then reinstalling an app removes any limitations on it. 

Recording videos to watch later

Using the screen-recording tool allows kids to record a YouTube video to watch later from their Photo album.

Changing the time zone

If you set Screen Time limits during certain hours, it’s common for kids to adjust the time zone on their device to get around limits.

Accessing YouTube through messages

If you’ve blocked YouTube during Downtime but not messages, your child can still open any videos that are sent to them via text.

How to prevent kids from hacking Screen Time limits

First, here’s a refresher on how to use iPhone parental controls and ways to troubleshoot if Screen Time isn’t working. These tips can help prevent the most common ways kids use to turn off Screen Time:

  • Use a strong passcode: Tell the truth — did you use your dog’s birthday as the passcode? Make sure it’s a strong password, and change it periodically to prevent your child from sleuthing it out.
  • Disable One More Minute: Go to App Limit settings and turn on “Block at End of Limit.” However, there are legitimate reasons for your kid to use this feature (such as finishing their thought on a text), and it’s such a small victory that this might be one to let slide. 
  • Turn off Siri: Go to Settings > Siri & Search > disable all the toggles. Be aware this feature can’t be locked with a passcode, so your child can easily turn it back on again. It’s also worth noting that turning off Siri also disables dictation, which can be beneficial to many kids, including for accessibility.
  • Require a passcode to install apps: This measure protects against a lot of workarounds, including if your child deletes and then reinstalls apps to erase their time limit. Here’s how to set it up.  
  • Disable screen recording: If your child uses screen recording to work around their limit (or to learn your passcode), you can disable it.
  • Lock the time zone: To prevent your child from changing the time zone on their phone, you must both disable the ability to change the time zone and prevent changes to location services. Here’s how to do both.
  • Block access to YouTube in messages: To shut down this hack, make sure you’ve blocked messages during Downtime.
  • Toggle on Block at Downtime: Enabling this setting means your child can’t use their phone (except for apps you’ve allowed) without you either entering the passcode on their phone or giving them permission from your device.  
  • Block at End of Limit: Setting screen time limits is useless unless you also turn on Block at End of Limit. Your child will need your permission to exceed the limits. 

Beyond technology

If a kid’s crafty enough, they’ll figure out a way around your restrictions. That’s why it’s important to couple them with other measures. 

First, lean on your relationship. Let your child know you expect to be able to trust them to respect your rules and boundaries. Create a digital device contract and be clear about any consequences if they go around your limits. 

Talk to your child about why it’s important to limit their screen time — especially if they’re having trouble sleeping. Stay informed about your child’s online activity through regular communication, online safety check-ins, and the use of a monitoring app

In short

Kids are savvy and can find ways around screen time limits. Parents should take steps to prevent their kids from hacking their limits, but also make other efforts such as staying engaged in their child’s online activity. 

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