Setting Boundaries: How to Create a Family Texting Contract

Text messaging opens your child up to risks such as cyberbullying, sexting, and toxic group chats. But texting also brings plenty of positives, like increased connection with friends and the ability to stay in contact with you when you’re not with them. As you get ready to hand your child their new device, it’s useful to create a family texting contract with expectations on how they will behave with their new privileges. 

What is a family texting contract?

A family texting contract is an agreement between parents and children that establishes rules and expectations for text messaging. For instance, a rule might require your child to reply to your texts promptly when they’re out of the house. 

While some parents might incorporate these rules into a broader digital device contract — which covers general device use, such as screen time limits and prohibited locations for phone use — a family texting contract specifically targets text messaging. Choose the option that best suits your family’s needs.

How to decide rules in your family texting contract

When it comes to setting rules, the approach matters. Waiting to angrily impose a rule when you’re fed up with a behavior is less likely to be successful than if you set thoughtful expectations from the start and adjust as needed over time. It’s worth taking the time to create your family’s texting rules before your child starts texting. But if that ship has already sailed, it’s never too late to set new boundaries — just be prepared for an adjustment period as your child gets used to the new law of the land. 

Factors to consider 

Here are some things to consider as you decide what texting boundaries to set:

• Your child’s relationship to technology: Is your kiddo the rare breed who couldn’t care less about screens, or do they have a hard time following existing screen time limits? Do they make responsible choices about what content to consume, or are you constantly finding them where they shouldn’t be on the internet? The harder it is for your child to regulate their own use of screens, the more support they’ll need from you in the form of texting guidelines. 
• Your relationship to technology: Every parent has a different threshold for acceptable device use. Parents who are constantly on their own phones likely have a higher threshold for what’s okay than ones who use their phones more lightly. 
• How your partner or co-parent feels: Texting rules will be more effective if everyone is on the same page. Work collaboratively with your child’s other parent to create expectations that work for you both. 

Involving your child in the process

You have the final say, but the more input your child has in deciding what goes on the family texting contract, the more buy in you’ll get. They also might surprise you with what they come up with. Explain why you think it’s important to set texting guidelines and ask them what they think should be included. 

Suggested rules and guidelines for a family texting contract 

Here are some ideas to get you started: 

• Always reply to a parent’s texts as soon as possible.
• Don’t reply to people you don’t know.
• Don’t tap on unfamiliar links from unknown numbers (they could be scams or phishing attempts).
• Avoid sharing personal information in texts, like passwords. 
• Set your phone to “do not disturb” during homework time, in class, and before bed.
• No texting at the dinner table. 
• Allow parents to perform spot-checks of your phone to make sure you’re following the rules and watch for any safety concerns. 
• Consent to the use of a text message monitoring app for iPhone like BrightCanary. 
• Practice respectful texting etiquette. 

How to implement your family texting contract

Once you’ve decided your new texting rules, it’s time to put them in place. Here are some tips: 

• Write them down: Put your rules in writing with a digital device contract (free download). Revise the contract as your child gets more phone privileges, such as social media accounts. 
• Periodically evaluate the rules: After the new rules have been in place for a bit, sit down as a family and discuss what’s working and what’s not. Amend as needed. Adjustments can also be made as your child gets older to allow more freedom or when factors change, such as when they start driving (no texting behind the wheel!). 
• Model healthy texting behavior: This one is perhaps the hardest, but also one of the most important elements of creating a family agreement for text messaging. While it’s reasonable for adults to behave differently when it comes to texting, it’s still important for you to model healthy behavior, such as putting the phone away during meals and before bed and not being constantly glued to your screen. Our children are watching (and learning) from our behavior. 

In short

Allowing your child to start texting is a big step. By thoughtfully implementing guidelines and behavior expectations, you will help them establish a healthy relationship to texting. 

Among Us is a mega popular online game, at one point even beating out Roblox to become the most-downloaded mobile game on both Android and iOS. Although its popularity has waned slightly since then, it remains a fan favorite. But if your child is asking to play the game, you may be wondering, “Is Among Us safe for kids?” That’s why we’ve compiled this handy guide to answer that question for you. 

What is Among Us?

Among Us is a space-themed, multiplayer online strategy game. The players are colorful, bulbous cartoon astronauts on a mission. Players take on the role of either a crewmate whose mandate is to perform tasks related to the mission or an imposter whose sole purpose is to sabotage the mission and destroy the crew. 

Among Us age rating

The game is best for kids ages 10 and older due to the violent premise of the game and the open chat feature, although supervised play may be okay for slightly younger children. Both the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) and Common Sense Media give Among Us an age rating of 10+. 

Language in Among Us

Because there’s no dialogue, parents don’t need to worry about inappropriate language in the game itself. However, because there is a chat feature, kids may be exposed to inappropriate language from other players in comments or character names. However, you can use parental controls to filter out inappropriate chat content, and usernames are somewhat moderated. 

Is there sex and nudity in Among Us?

There is no sex or nudity in Among Us. In fact, the players never even take off those adorable little space suits.  

Is there violence in Among Us?

The entire goal of the imposters in the game is to murder crew members or sabotage equipment in order to kill them. The murders in particular are often quite violent, such as snapping necks or stabbing. And there’s no pretending the crewmates faced any other fate but death, considering the bodies are left behind and ghosts of killed players can be found floating around. While the actions are rather gory, no blood is shown, and the cartoonish nature of the game does temper the impact of the violence. 

Does Among Us have parental controls?

The game does have parental controls, but only for children under the age of 13. Parents can access this feature through the Inner Sloth Parental Portal. Here are the notable options that parents can control: 

• Free-Text Chat vs. Quick Chat: By default, kid accounts are set to Quick Chat, which means they can only select from a preset list when using the chat feature. Using the Parental Portal, parents can elect to give their child the Free-Text option, allowing them to type in the chat box. It should be noted that, even if your child is only allowed to use Quick Chat, other users can still message them using Free-Text. 
• Custom display name: The default option for kids is a randomly-assigned display name. You can give your child permission to select their own display name. While these are moderated to exclude inappropriate language or personal information, no moderation is foolproof, so it’s a good idea to check your child’s display name if you have concerns. 
• Friends list: If you want your child to be able to add users to a friend list and be added to other players’ friend lists, you must give them permission. This allows them to send and accept invitations to game lobbies. Creating private lobbies and inviting friends is a great way to eliminate any concern that a stranger may try and message your child through the game. 
• Sensor chat: Use this to prevent your child from receiving messages with bad language or violent content. 

BrightCanary doesn’t monitor Among Us, but it’s possible that your child will look up additional playthrough videos and related content on Google, YouTube, and social media. It’s a good idea to supervise what your child searches online, just in case they encounter anything concerning. Their gaming experience might be safe for kids, but the content they watch from other creators may be anything but. With BrightCanary, you can keep tabs on their searches, posts, and even texts.

Is Among Us a scary game?

Because of the violent premise of the game and the murders acted out on screen, Among Us may be scary for particularly sensitive kids. However, it’s not intended to be a horror game, the characters are not particularly humanlike, and the violence is cartoonish, all of which minimize the fear-factor. 

Final thoughts

Despite the violent premise and open chat feature, Among Us remains relatively safe for children over the age of 10. Parents should utilize the parental control features for additional peace of mind.

Wondering how to talk to your child about online safety? One of the most effective methods for keeping your child safe online is to have regular conversations about their internet activity and what they encounter. This means looking at and talking about everything from the accounts they follow to the videos they watch to the messages they send and receive. Read on to learn the ins and outs of online safety check-ins and how to implement them for your family. 

What is an online safety check-in?

Online safety check-ins are a designated time set aside to spend with your child where you discuss their online activity. Here are some suggestions of what to focus on during your check-ins: 

• Ask your child what interests them online.
• Give them space to talk about their online activity. 
• Discuss things you see that concern you and anything that has made them uncomfortable online. 
• Explore new and interesting accounts they follow. 
• View their social feeds together. 
• Create a safe space for your child to bring up any challenges they’ve faced online.

Why should you talk to your child about online safety?

Online predators, cyberbullies, and scammers are just a few of the dangers children face online. Because of the potential pitfalls, experts increasingly recommend parents monitor kids online. 

In addition to following your child’s social media accounts and using a monitoring service, conversations about online safety are one of the best ways parents can stay on top of what their kids are up to online.

How to have an online safety check-in

The most effective safety check-ins happen when parents are prepared. Here are some tips for making these conversations work for you: 

• Start early. The time to begin check-ins is as soon as your child begins using devices, be it a tablet, computer, or phone. If they’ve already been on devices for years, don’t fret! It’s never too late to start. 
• Schedule it in advance. It helps kids to know what to expect. Pick a time when they’re not distracted and you’re in a good headspace for the discussion. Consider putting your check-ins on the calendar so you’re less likely to forget or blow past them. 
• Explain the purpose. Be clear the check-ins aren’t punishments — they’re an open space to discuss what’s on their mind and for you to learn more about their online life. 
• Encourage them to be skeptical. Teach your child to think critically about what they see online. Show them how to spot misinformation and how to find reputable websites. 
• Educate them on the dangers. Be honest with your child about your concerns and the dangers they may face online. The goal is not to scare them, but to empower them to play an active role in their own online safety. 
• Be transparent about your expectations. Set clear guidelines for how you expect them to behave online and what concerns you’ll be watching for during your check-ins.

Getting started

After a few go-arounds, your safety check-ins will start to feel pretty routine. But starting can be daunting. Here are some conversation-starters to get you going:  

• “I want to talk about the importance of keeping personal information private online. Why do you think that’s important?”
• “How do you decide which apps or games are okay to download? Let’s go over what makes an app safe and appropriate.”
• “Setting screen time boundaries is really important. Why do you think it’s important to have a balance between time spent online and time doing other things?”
• “When you’re online, do you feel pressure to act a certain way or to share things to get likes or comments? Tell me more about that.”
• “Are there any questions you have about the internet or social media that we haven’t talked about yet?”

In short 

A growing body of experts recommend parents monitor their children online. Regular online safety check-ins are one of the best things you can do to keep your child safe online. 

Restricting access to a child’s phone has become a go-to punishment for many families. But it’s not always the most appropriate or effective consequence. It’s wise to first consider the pros and cons of taking your child’s phone away — here’s what parents should know.

Factors to consider as you make your choice

Every situation is different, and nobody knows your child as well as you. But as you decide whether or not to take your child’s phone away, it’s important to understand some broader points about the role they play in the kids’ lives. 

It’s not just a phone 

Virtual communication can be positive and developmentally important. Like it or not, phones are how modern teens communicate with their friends, and communication is necessary for development. Taking away your child’s phone is equivalent to unplugging the television and the stereo, banning games, cutting off their contact with friends, and grounding them — all in one fell swoop. If you do take away their phone, know that you’re imposing a serious consequence.

Social media is the new hangout space 

Social media has replaced spaces like malls and movie theaters for unstructured socialization with peers. That time is valuable for trying on new identities, forming independent relationships, and figuring out who they are as people. 

It’s easy to take things out of context 

Some online behavior, like slang or swearing, might seem inappropriate at first glance, but are in fact developmentally appropriate. If your first instinct is to take your child’s phone away because of their online behavior, take a step back and consider if the punishment fits the crime.

Access to technology helps kids learn positive habits

As parents in the digital age, our job is to teach our kids how to have healthy relationships with technology, so we must tread carefully when it comes to phone privileges — both granting them and taking them away. 

Pros of taking your child’s phone away

While caution is advised, there are some situations in which taking away your child’s phone may be called for. 

• Temporary safety. If your child’s targeted by an online predator or cyberbully, removing their phone can keep them safe while you address the situation.   
• Emphasizes the seriousness of the situation. For many kids, losing their phone is the worst possible punishment, meaning it can convey how seriously you take their behavior. 
• Reduced distractions. Without a phone, your child won’t have as many distractions from homework and family time. 

Cons of taking your child’s phone away

If you do decide to take away your child’s phone, it’s important to understand the potential ramifications. 

• They lose their line to you. Without a phone, your kid can’t as easily communicate with you when you’re not together. 
• They might go behind your back. There’s a chance your child could resort to sneaky behavior like borrowing an old phone from a friend. That means they may continue their problematic behavior — now without your watchful eye. 
• May hurt your relationship. It’s easy to believe that removing your child’s phone will increase family bonding, but it’s just as likely to cause conflict and potentially harm your relationship.
• Punishment may not fit the crime. Consequences work best when they’re related to the behavior. If what your child did wasn’t connected to their phone, punishing them by taking it away isn’t the most effective method for correcting that behavior. 
• Removes a teaching tool. An all-or-nothing approach to phone restrictions limits opportunities to teach your child how to regulate their own tech use. 

Alternatives to taking your child’s phone away

If you decide against taking away your child’s phone as a consequence, that doesn’t mean you’re without options. Here are some alternatives:  

• Connect before you correct. The most effective way to shape your child’s behavior is to rely on your relationship with them. Ask your child about their behavior and find out what was behind it. Explain why it was unacceptable and what you hope they learn from this mistake. 
• Limits not bans. Rather than removing all access, set limits around your child’s phone use. Target the restrictions to the problem behavior. For example, if the issue was with a particular app, you could delete it from their phone. Requiring them to leave their device in another room during homework and bedtime minimizes distractions. Another good idea is setting rules the whole family must follow, such as no phones at dinner. 
• Monitor their phone use. Staying involved in your child’s online life allows you to spot problems so you can target specific behavior rather than imposing blanket bans. Some good ways to monitor their online behavior include following them on social media, holding tech check-ins, and using a monitoring service. 

The takeaway 

Rather than taking away your child’s phone, a more effective approach is to use targeted restrictions, practice open communication, and monitor their online behavior. 

Is your child acting fishy lately when texting? Maybe they suddenly stop when you enter the room or take pains to conceal their screen. Perhaps during your latest phone check, you noticed a suspicious lack of messages. But how do kids hide texts? Read on to learn ways your child might conceal their messages, why they might do it, and how you can make sure they’re safe. 

How kids hide text messages

To help you figure out if your child might be concealing their texts from you, here are some of the methods they may use: 

Invisible Ink 

Sending a text with “Invisible Ink” on iMessage makes it blurry until the recipient taps on it. However, it’s not disappearing ink — the message will remain visible after it’s been revealed. 

Rename a contact

If your child’s main goal is to conceal who they’re messaging, they could rename the contact to avoid catching your attention. For example, a secret significant other could instead be labeled with the name of their best friend. 

Turn off message previews

Message previews are the short lines of text that appear on a phone notification. Turning off message previews is a great way to prevent people from peeping them on the lock screen. 

Turn off alerts 

To avoid raising suspicion, your kid might turn off text alerts or hide alerts for a specific message thread.  

Delete text messages

If your child wants to keep texts from prying eyes, they may delete messages or entire conversation threads.

Third-party apps

There are third-party messaging apps available that provide privacy measures not available on the native messaging programs for iOS and Android devices. 

We don’t advocate breaking into or spying on your child’s phone, but if you notice that your child is using these extra security features, consider asking them about it and periodically looking through some of their conversations together.

Here are a few ways your child might use a third-party app to conceal their messages: 

• Face ID, Touch ID, or a passcode: While iMessage and Android Messages don’t allow users to lock the app using a passcode, Face ID, or Touch ID, other Third-Party messaging apps such as WhatsApp and Signal do. 
• Disappearing messages: Some apps, like WhatsApp and Snapchat, let users send messages that disappear after being read. 

Private messaging apps

Secret Messenger and other similar apps are specifically designed to help users conceal their messages. 

Why kids conceal text messages 

If you think your child is hiding texts, it’s important not to jump to conclusions. 

While there could be a concerning reason, such as hiding the use of drugs and alcohol, there are just as many innocent possibilities. It could be they have a new, positive romantic relationship but just aren’t ready to tell you yet. Or it might be as simple as the desire for privacy fueled by an age-appropriate need for independence. 

Giving kids privacy and keeping them safe is a balancing act, and only you know what’s best for your family.

Solutions for parents 

Although your child hiding messages from you could turn out to be no big deal, secretive behavior is always worth investigating. Here are some things you can do if you suspect your child is concealing texts: 

• Talk to your child. The very first thing you should do if you think your child is hiding something is to have a conversation with them. Calmly explain what you’ve noticed (sticking to the observable facts) and why this concerns you. Then, give your child a chance to explain what’s going on. Lean on the mutual trust you’ve built, and be clear your goal is to make sure they’re safe. 
• Online safety check-ins. Make it a habit to regularly sit with your child and look at the content on their phone, including text messages. Reiterate that these check-ins aren’t meant to punish them, but rather to make sure they’re staying safe and have space to discuss any concerns. 
• Check the deleted messages folder on iCloud. Nothing ever truly disappears on the internet. If you’re concerned your kid may be deleting messages, you can check the deleted messages folder on their iCloud account. It’s important to be transparent with your child if you take this route, though. Explain why you’re checking their deleted messages and what you’re looking for. 
• Require permission before downloading apps. To prevent your child from using a third-party app to hide messages, use parental controls to require a passcode before they can download new apps to their device. 
• Monitoring. BrightCanary uses AI technology to monitor your child’s texts and alert you if there’s a problem. Our app even displays deleted text messages, so you don’t have to worry about missing anything.

The bottom line 

If you suspect your child is concealing texts from you, it’s important to follow up and take action to make sure they’re safe. 

Bruh, I’m 🔥 AF. Say what? 

You know you should monitor your child’s texts, but actually understanding their messages is a whole other story. Like previous generations of kids, Gen Z and Gen Alpha use slang to put their own spin on the way they communicate. But with social media contributing to the rapid spread of slang and emoji meaning in text messages, it can be extra hard for modern parents to keep up. So, what are the kids saying these days? Read on for a guide to some of the most common slang and emoji meanings you might find in your child’s texts, including ones that could mean they’re up to trouble. 

Drugs, alcohol, and partying 

If you’re concerned your child might be drinking or doing drugs, here are some emojis and slang you’ll want to know:

Emojis

🤑👑💰💵🔌: Dealer advertisement

🍃🔥🌴🌲🍀😮💨: Marijuana

🍄: Hallucinogenic mushrooms 

💊: Illicit use of prescription drugs

🔵🅿️🍌: Percocet or Oxycodone

🍫🚌: Xanax

A-🚆: Adderall

🔮💙💎🧪: Meth

🤎🐉: Heroin

❄️🌨️☃️💎🎱🔑😛🐡: Cocaine

♥️⚡️❌🍬: MDMA and Molly

🍇💜🍼: Cough syrup

Slang

• Cart: Cartridge for a vaporizer.
• Dabbing:  Inhaling concentrated cannabis oil by dropping some on a hot surface and letting it vaporize.
• Gas: Marijuana
• Hulk:  A 2-mg generic benzodiazepine bar.
• Pen:  Vape for weed or tobacco; uses cartridges.
• Plug: Drug dealer or connection.
• School bus:  A 2-mg Xanax bar.
• Special K: Ketamine
• Snow: Cocaine
• Turnt: Having a good time, often while using drugs or alcohol.
• Yayo: Cocaine
• Zaza or za: Marijuana

@bright_canary

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Sexual overtones, dating, and relationships

Sexting is on the rise among kids and can come with big consequences. Here’s what you need to know to catch emoji innuendos on your child’s device:

Emojis

🍆: Penis

🍑: Butt

🥵: “Hot” in a sexual sense.

🚛:  “Dump truck,” which refers to a large and/or shapely bottom.

🌮: Vagina

🧠: Oral sex

💦: Ejaculation

👅:  May indicate sexual activity, especially oral sex.

🤤: Desiring someone sexually (often used in response to nudes).

🍒: Breasts/testicles/virginity

🍝: Represents nudes, which are often called “noods.”

🔨: Used to refer to sexual activity.

🌽: Represents “porn,” especially on TikTok.

Slang

• Rizz: Charisma or charm. 
• Gyat: (Rhymes with “squat.”) This compliment stands for “Girl your a** thicc.” 
• Thicc: (Sometimes pronounced “Tick”) Used to refer to a woman with a full-figured body. Thicc is often used as a compliment, but may also be considered offensive.
• Body count: The number of people someone has slept with.

General emojis and slang 

Here are some additional emojis and slang to be aware of: 

Emojis

🥴:  Used to express drunkenness, sexual arousal, or a grimace.

🙃:  Used to express annoyance.

🤡:  Used when someone is acting foolish (like a clown).

👻:  Indicates being “ghosted” (dumped or cut off from contact with no explanation).

🧢:  Symbolizes a lie, also known as a “cap.”

🥶: Often used in response to a snarky comment (as in, “That was cold”).

💯: Used to give a stamp of approval.

🐍: Represents a snake or untrustworthy person.

☠️: Means “I’m dead,” as in they laughed so hard it killed them.

🔥: This symbol can be used to describe something very good or to describe when someone looks hot or sexy. It can also mean “lit,” as in intoxicated.

👀: Means one is feeling gossipy, as in “tell me more.”

Slang

• AF: As F***; used for emphasis, as in “I’m tired AF.”
• Beige: Dull, run-of-the-mill, or safe.
• Bruh: Stands for “bro,” but can be used to address someone of any gender. 
• Do it for the plot: Doing something challenging, risky, etc. for the memories or the story. (A new version of YOLO.)
• Mid: “Low quality” or “average.” 
• Pick-me girl or pick-me energy: An insult meaning someone who’s a try-hard, loud and obnoxious, attention seeking, etc.
• Sus: Short for “suspicious.”
• Vanilla girl: An aspirational lifestyle representing the intersection of comfort and luxury. Vanilla girls lean toward minimalistic, often wearing shades of white and cream. 
• W in the chat: Used to hype someone up. 

Monitoring your child’s texts

Now that you know what to look for, make sure you’re on top of monitoring your child’s device. Regularly sit down and look at their messages with them. Consider signing up for a child safety app like BrightCanary, which even shows you deleted messages. Set clear expectations for texting behavior and to put it in writing with a digital device contract. 

In short

Kid’s texts can be filled with hard-to-decipher slang and secret codes. But with open communication, monitoring, and staying up on trends, you can spot trouble in your child’s texts so you can address the issue together.

While it’s responsible to monitor your child’s text messages, that doesn’t mean anything goes. It’s crucial to go about it in a way that’s respectful, thoughtful, and effective. Here are some of the top mistakes parents make when monitoring their child’s texts so you can avoid making them yourself. 

1. Spying

Going behind your child’s back to monitor their messages is almost guaranteed to backfire when they inevitably find out. Trust is a two-way street — opt for being open with your child about your monitoring, and they’ll be more likely to return the effort by being honest with you about their behavior. 

2. Expecting the worst

If you view monitoring your child’s texts as a way to catch them misbehaving, you set yourself up as an adversary, rather than an advocate. They’re likely to resent your actions and may go out of their way to evade your monitoring efforts. 

Instead, approach monitoring as a partnership. You should have a mutual goal of keeping them safe and helping them if they make a mistake. 

3. Calling out every little thing

I just learned the term “beige flag,” and I kind of love it. It’s a dating culture term meaning behavior that may be odd or strange, but that doesn’t rise to the level of concern. I think “beige flags” can also apply to parenting. 

When monitoring kids, parents need to decide what constitutes “red flag” behavior and what is merely notable-but-harmless beige behavior. 

For example, maybe your child is dropping f-bombs all over their text threads, but the actual content of what they’re saying (and their accompanying behavior) is fine. That’s a beige flag. Are they actively texting about drugs and alcohol? Red flag — time to step in. 

4. Not setting clear expectations 

If your kid doesn’t know what’s expected of them when they’re texting, they may feel blindsided when you call them out for something they didn’t realize was a problem. Be clear about how you expect them to behave when texting and put it in writing with a digital device contract. 

5. Having a false sense of security 

Monitoring your child’s texts is not a replacement for open communication. You still need to have the tough conversations with them about the risks that come with texting and help teach them how to be a responsible texter. 

You also need to remember that even the best monitoring efforts won’t catch everything. It’s still important to keep up on your child’s life the old fashioned way — by talking with them. 

6. Not respecting their privacy

Suppose that you learn your child has a new significant other, but they haven’t shared the news with you yet. You’ll probably want to run and ask them about the person — and why they didn’t tell you. DON’T do it. 

As difficult as it may be, you need to respect the fact that your child deserves to keep some things private. The same goes for not deliberately digging around on their phone to find out the gossip about their life. Focus your monitoring on issues of safety. The rest is only your business if your child wants it to be. 

7. Reading. Every. Single. Message.

It’s so tempting to read every message! It’s right there — why not? Well, for one thing, if your child is a typical teen texter, you’ll drive yourself absolutely batty trying to keep up: the average teen receives at least 237 texts per day, according to Common Sense Media. 

Reading every single text may also contribute to your child feeling like you’re spying on them. As your child grows older and more mature, you’ll want to loosen the reins, and reading every message only adds to your mental load. 

A monitoring app like BrightCanary gives you your time back. You can simply browse the “concerning” tab or wait until the app alerts you about something your child receives. The app even monitors deleted texts, so you don’t have to worry about missing something big.

8. Jumping to conclusions

If you find something concerning, the first step is to (calmly) ask your child about it. Find out the full story from them, assuming the best until you find out otherwise. Ask your child what happened, using open-ended questions like, “Why did you send this?” or “Have you been sent something like this before, or is this the first time?” Remind them that your job is to keep them safe, and you want to work through this together. 

9. Not giving kids room to make (and learn from) their mistakes 

You can’t protect your child from everything. Nor should you try. There’s value in making mistakes, especially when your child is still young and has you to help support them through the aftermath. Address the big stuff that you find on their texts, but also look for places where you can give them room to fail. That’s where the growth will happen. 

The bottom line

Monitoring your child’s texts is a great way to help them stay safe online. But when parents aren’t honest about their monitoring, jump to conclusions, or go overboard in their efforts, it can have negative consequences. 

To say Reddit is huge is an understatement. Just about any Google search these days is bound to turn up at least one hit from the site. Last year alone, Reddit had 850 million monthly active users, putting it ahead of Snapchat, Pinterest, and LinkedIn. But is Reddit safe for kids? If your child wants to browse this popular platform, read on to hear our take. 

What is Reddit?

Reddit’s slogan is “Dive into anything,” and that certainly holds true. It’s an enormous social network made up of smaller communities centered around various interests, hobbies, and passions. These smaller communities are known as subreddits, and the range of topics they cover is truly mind-boggling, such as movies, vintage recipes, and relationship advice.

Users have a front page, which features posts from all the subreddits they follow. They can also browse r/all, which displays popular posts from different subreddits. 

What are Reddit’s age restrictions?

The age minimum for creating a Reddit account is 13. However, the signup process doesn’t require any proof of age. In addition, while an account is needed to post, comment, or vote, a person can read posts without an account. 

Is Reddit moderated? 

Reddit does have content guidelines which apply to the site as a whole. In addition, each subreddit has its own rules. These rules and guidelines are enforced by volunteer moderators, as well as admins employed by Reddit. 

This level of moderation does help, but the sheer volume of posts means things inevitably slip through the cracks. Additionally, moderators are only looking for people who violate the guidelines, not if something is unsuitable for children. 

Is Reddit safe for kids? 

The answer to this is a hard no. Let’s break down why we feel so strongly that Reddit isn’t safe for kids:

• Problematic content. Because of the wide variety of subreddits and lack of safeguards, children can stumble upon just about anything on the site. Adult-only subreddits, extremist and violent content, and subreddits promoting hate, like misogyny and fat-shaming, are just a handful of the problematic things your child can easily come across on the site. While some subreddits are age-restricted, it’s easy to sidestep the minimum age restrictions when a child creates their account.
• Harassment. Unlike other social media sites where your child can create a private account and curate who they’re friends with, Reddit is open to anyone. That means users can harass your child in the comments section and in their inbox.
• Dangerous trends. There have been a number of Reddit controversies in recent years surrounding dangerous internet trends. One is doxxing, or publicly sharing someone’s personal information. In recent years, Reddit has prohibited doxxing, and users who violate this policy are banned from the site. But there are still reports of it still happening, and once the information is out there, much of the damage has been done, even if the perpetrator is subsequently banned.  
• Direct messaging. Flimsy age restrictions, the lack of parental controls, and questionable communities make direct messaging especially problematic on Reddit. It’s possible to block people and prevent strangers from messaging your child, but it’s not the default setting for minors.
• Lackluster privacy and security settings. While Reddit does have some privacy and security settings available for users, like keeping their account out of Google search results, the options overall leave something to be desired. 
• No parental controls. Reddit has no parental controls. As in, zero. This makes them an outlier among social media sites and provides parents with few options for safeguarding their children. 

The bottom line  

Even though Reddit’s minimum age is 13, that doesn’t mean your child should use it. Due to the lack of parental controls and the high likelihood of being exposed to problematic communities and troubling content, Reddit is not safe for kids.

To monitor or not to monitor: that is the eternal question of parenting in the digital age. As your child embarks on their social media life (or even if they’re already deep in it), it’s worth weighing the pros and cons of parents monitoring social media access for kids. Here’s how you can formulate a plan to keep them safe online and decide how much you want to supervise their online activities.

What is social media monitoring? 

Social media monitoring is anything you do to supervise your child’s activity on social networks, such as Instagram and TikTok. Monitoring efforts can take several forms, including following your child on social media, regular tech check-ins, parental controls, and using a monitoring service. The most effective approach combines several monitoring methods based on what works best for your family. 

Pros of social media monitoring

Experts broadly recommend parents take an active role in their children’s social media use, with the American Psychological Association (APA) advising that parents monitor social media accounts for kids under 15.

Here are some of the benefits of monitoring your child’s social media: 

Helps keep your child safe

Social media brings with it a whole host of risks for kids, including predators, cyberbullying, scams, anxiety, and exposure to dangerous trends. Monitoring your child’s social media activity means you’ll be more likely to spot red flags so you can address the issue head-on. 

Encourages active conversations about internet safety and responsibility

One of the jobs of modern parenting is teaching our children how to use social media and the internet safely and responsibly. Monitoring your child’s social media creates natural opportunities for learning and guidance. 

Keeps you informed about your child’s interests and influences

Who your children follow and how they engage with others on social media is an important window into their lives. Monitoring their accounts lets you keep up on their interests and influences, including harmful ones.

A way to monitor their mental health

Teens are notoriously private. As parents, it can feel like they’ve closed themselves off from us completely. While there’s no substitute for talking with your child, paying attention to what they post, share, and like on social media provides valuable insight into the state of their mental health so you can step in if needed. 

Cons of social media monitoring

While the data is clear that monitoring children’s social media is a net positive, it’s worth being aware of the possible downsides so you can get ahead of them. 

Here are some of the potential drawbacks of monitoring your child’s social media: 

May make your child feel like they don’t have privacy

Especially as they get older, a sense of privacy and independence is important for children’s development. However, this must be balanced by a need for safety. 

The good news is, you can accomplish both. One key to this is being clear with your child that your goal is to keep them safe, not to get all up in their business unnecessarily. 

BrightCanary uses AI to scan your child’s social media and alerts you to any red flags. It’s a great way to give them a measure of freedom because you can still keep an eye out for any concerns without combing over every single word they write online. 

Your child can sidestep monitoring tools, settings, and rules

It’s true that your child might try to hide some online activity from you. But the answer isn’t “ignore the problem” or “do nothing.” Any effort you make to monitor your child’s activity online, even if they are thwarted, is better than nothing. 

The key is to build in additional measures beyond simple monitoring. Make it clear that allowing you to monitor their accounts is a condition for using their device. Put it in writing with a digital device contract. Include clear consequences in the contract that kick in if you discover they’ve been sabotaging your efforts. 

Takeaway

While there are some potential cons to monitoring your child’s social media, the pros far outweigh any downsides. Experts suggest monitoring children’s social media accounts until at least the age of 15. Whether you have regular phone checks, use parental control settings, or use a child safety app like BrightCanary, what matters is that you’re taking an active role in keeping your child safe on social media.

Is your kid as obsessed with Nintendo Switch as mine is? Maybe they’re always asking to play online with friends. If so, you might be wondering about Nintendo Switch parental controls and other measures to keep your child safe while playing. Read on to learn how to help your child enjoy Nintendo Switch safely.  

What is Nintendo Switch? 

Nintendo Switch is a three-in-one gaming system which has standard console play, portable console play, and the ability to turn into a handheld device. Switch users can also play together online. 

Here’s how it all breaks down:  

• TV mode: Plug the Switch into your TV for standard console play. 
• Handheld mode: The center portion of the Switch console can be lifted out, transforming it into a portable, handheld system.
• Tabletop mode: The handheld device includes a stand to turn it into a freestanding screen. Auxiliary controllers can be connected for multiplayer fun on-the-go. 
• Nintendo Switch Lite: This is a handheld-only version of the system. Unlike the regular Switch, the Switch Lite can’t be used as a tabletop console or connect to your TV. 
• Nintendo Switch Online: Nintendo Switch Online is a subscription service that lets users play with friends, family, or other players from around the world. 

Nintendo Switch age range

Around 8 years old is a good benchmark to start playing Switch. However, it also depends on your child’s maturity level, ability to take care of an expensive system, and willingness to follow your safety rules — like only playing games you allow and not talking to strangers online. 

With that said, the Nintendo Switch has a wide variety of games appropriate for kids of all ages. (Adults, too! I think my husband is more obsessed with our Switch than our son.) Check the recommended age range before your child begins playing a new game, and consider playing it yourself or watching them play.

Nintendo Switch parental controls

Video games have come a long way since you were a kid. Fortunately, so have parental controls. To set parental controls, first download the Nintendo Switch Parental Controls app to your mobile device. Follow the prompts to connect your account to your Switch. 

Here’s how to keep your kid safe on Nintendo Switch:

Parental controls on the Nintendo Switch device 

• Play-time Limit: The player’s alerted when they reach their limit. You can also set it so the system automatically interrupts the game instead. 
• Content Restriction Levels: You can choose from preset restriction levels (Child, Pre-Teen, or Teen), which limit the games your child can play based on their age range. 
• Posting to Social Media: It’s pretty common to share gameplay screenshots and videos to social media. The Child and Pre-Teen restriction levels automatically restrict your child from posting to social media through their Switch. 
• VR Mode (3D Visuals): Only the Child restriction level blocks the use of Virtual Reality. 

Parental controls for Nintendo Switch Online 

Nintendo Switch Online introduces additional concerns because of the ability to play and communicate with other users, including strangers. 

Luckily, you can use the Parental Controls app to safeguard this aspect as well. The Child and Pre-Teen content restriction levels prevent your kid from using voice chat and sending messages and images to other players. 

Customizing Nintendo Switch parental controls 

If you prefer not to rely on the preset age ranges, there are several customization options:

• Custom settings: Here you can select an exact age for content restrictions and choose if your child can post to social media, use VR Mode, or communicate with others, regardless of their age.  
• “Whitelisted” games: If your child wants to play a game that isn’t approved for their age level, you can “whitelist” it so that content restrictions don’t apply for that game. 
• Parental Controls PIN: Parental controls apply to the entire system, not individual users. It’s best to set them with the youngest user in mind. If you have older players in the house, you can set a PIN which temporarily overrides Parental Controls. 

Staying informed 

Through the Parental Controls app, you can also: 

• View which games each user has played and for how long
• Get monthly play reports
• Receive an alert if your child ignores their playtime alarm (busted!)

Other Nintendo Switch safety considerations

If your child gets really into a game, they might seek out more information on it, like watching video game playthroughs on YouTube or Googling game tips. These are fun, but could expose your kid to language and content you may not be comfortable with. 

Use BrightCanary to supervise your child’s activity on YouTube, Google, and other platforms. It’s the perfect companion to the Switch’s parental controls because it covers the other websites and apps your child is most likely to use.

The bottom line

Nintendo Switch is not without risk, but by utilizing parental controls and talking to your child about how to stay safe, it can be a fun gaming experience for kids.