TikTok Is Off-Limits for My Kid. Should They Be Able to Watch on a Friend’s Phone?

You’re annoyed. As a parent, you’ve made the decision not to allow your child to have their own social media account on TikTok, only to find out that they’ve been watching TikTok videos on a friend’s phone. It can be frustrating to feel like your child is circumventing the rules you’ve put in place to protect them. 

But disobedience aside, you might be wondering whether it’s okay to let your child look at TikTok when they’re hanging out with friends. Are there benefits to allowing this? What are the downsides?

The pros and cons of how your child watches TikTok

TikTok is a social media platform where users can create, share, and discover short videos. Many teenagers are drawn to TikTok for its entertaining content and the opportunity to express themselves creatively. But, like other social media platforms, TikTok has its share of potential dangers and concerns, including exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, privacy issues, and more.

Letting your child have their own account

When your child has their own account on TikTok — or any other social network — the various risks and negative impacts they’re exposed to include:

  • Increased screen time: If your child has their own account, they’re more likely to spend excessive amounts of time on the platform. Excessive screen time can lead to unhealthy  habits, affecting sleep, physical health, mental health, and academic performance.
  • Inappropriate content: Without parental controls in place, your child may have unrestricted access to content that is not suitable for their age, potentially exposing them to harmful material.
  • Peer pressure and the need for online validation: Having an account can create a sense of peer pressure to gain followers, likes, and comments. This pressure may result in your child seeking validation from others instead of developing their own sense of self-worth.
  • Cyberbullying: Adolescents with social media accounts are at a higher risk of being targeted by cyberbullies, leading to negative emotional and psychological consequences.
  • Privacy concerns: When your child has their own account, they might unintentionally share personal information that can be exploited by others.

You can offset some of these risks by monitoring your child’s account and enforcing screen time limits, but this will require engagement from you on an ongoing basis. Apps like BrightCanary send you alerts when your child sees concerning content, which cuts down on your need to review every post and video — but it’s a good idea to still have regular social media check-ins with your child.

Letting your child only watch on a friend’s device instead

If your child occasionally watches TikTok videos on a friend’s phone instead, some of the risks and negative impacts may be reduced:

  • Limited screen time: Watching videos only occasionally limits the amount of time your child spends on the platform. Less time on social media is a good thing because excessive screen time has been connected to worse mental health outcomes for kids and teens.
  • Less peer pressure: Without an account, your child is less likely to be influenced by the need for online validation, allowing them to focus on developing their self-esteem offline.
  • Lower risk of cyberbullying: Without an account, your child is less likely to be targeted by cyberbullies, reducing the risk of negative emotional and psychological impacts.
  • Privacy protection: If your child doesn’t have their own account, they’re less likely to share personal information online.

But the tradeoff is you won’t have any visibility into what they’re watching or doing, and that limits your ability to provide input and guidance.

Letting your child watch TikTok videos occasionally on a friend’s device minimizes some of the downsides of social media. But your child may still be exposed to inappropriate content on their friend’s phone, and you’ll have less visibility into what they’re seeing and doing. 

What to consider when making your decision

So, should you allow your child to watch TikTok videos on a friend’s phone? The following factors can help you make an informed decision that prioritizes your child’s safety and well-being while still respecting their desire to engage with their peers in the digital world.

Age and maturity

If you believe they are mature enough to handle the content and potential risks associated with occasional TikTok viewing, you may feel more comfortable allowing them to watch videos on a friend’s phone.

Content and friend’s influence

If you trust your child’s friend and believe they have a positive influence on your child, you may feel more comfortable knowing that the content will be filtered or curated by someone who shares your values.

Parental involvement

Your level of involvement in your child’s digital life plays a significant role in this decision. Regularly discussing social media use, monitoring their online activities, and establishing open communication can help ensure that your child is engaging safely and responsibly, even if they only use TikTok occasionally. You’ll also want to consider how involved your friend’s parents are: do their parents periodically check-in while their kids are using social media, or do they have more of a hands-off approach?

Alternative activities

Consider what alternative activities your child can engage in, both online and offline. Encouraging your child to participate in hobbies, extracurricular activities, and spending quality time with friends and family can help minimize the appeal of social media platforms like TikTok.

Trust and boundaries

Establishing trust with your child is essential when it comes to their social media use. If you can trust your child to follow the boundaries you’ve set regarding occasional TikTok viewing, it may be worth considering allowing them to watch videos on a friend’s phone.

Communication and understanding

It’s essential to have ongoing conversations with your child about the potential risks and negative impacts of social media. If your child understands the reasons behind your decision and can acknowledge the potential dangers, they may be more equipped to handle occasional exposure to platforms like TikTok.

By carefully considering these factors and weighing the potential risks and benefits, you can make a more informed decision about whether to allow your child to watch TikTok videos on a friend’s phone occasionally. 

This is a tricky decision for parents because your child may very well use a friend’s phone behind your back, especially if they’re away from home. However, by explaining why those rules matter, you can help your child understand why it’s important to minimize social media use.

Ultimately, your decision should prioritize your child’s safety and well-being while respecting their desire to engage with their peers in a digital world.

The bottom line

Allowing your child to occasionally watch TikTok videos on a friend’s phone, instead of having their own account, can help reduce the negative impacts associated with daily social media use — while still allowing your kid to feel looped into what their friends are watching and discussing. This compromise may work better for both you and your child, especially since it will be difficult to prevent them from doing it anyway.

On the other hand, you won’t have any visibility into what they’re seeing and doing if it’s not on a social media account you monitor. So, it’s important to talk to your child about the risks of platforms like TikTok. That way, they can make more informed decisions when they’re away from home. Either way, by setting clear boundaries and expectations, fostering open communication, and emphasizing the importance of offline connections, you can help your child navigate the world of social media safely and responsibly.

With over 445 million users each month worldwide, Pinterest has become a popular platform for people of all ages to share and discover ideas. This includes millions of preteen and teen girls who enjoy using Pinterest for inspiration, from fashion and DIY projects to room decor and study tips.

But parents need to be aware of Pinterest’s dark side. A recent investigation revealed that some adult men are using Pinterest to curate boards and sexualize pins featuring underage girls.

How Bad Actors Are Using Pinterest

Pinterest is a website where you can save and share pictures of things you like. You can make boards with different themes, like recipes, fashion, or travel. Pinterest does not allow pictures of naked people or sexual subjects, and you’re required to be at least 13 years old to create an account — which hasn’t stopped many tweens from signing up anyway.

But a recent NBC News investigation discovered that adult men are skirting these rules by using Pinterest to make boards with pictures of young girls and teenagers. They find these pictures by using Pinterest’s suggestions, which are based on what people search for and what they like. Sometimes, they leave sexual comments about the girls. 

Historically, Pinterest hasn’t had a good way to stop these people or to report them. You could only report one picture at a time, not a whole board, and you couldn’t report pictures of minors. 

Pinterest’s Steps to Protect Minors

In response to the alarming findings, Pinterest has taken several measures to safeguard its younger users. One significant update is making Pinterest accounts under the age of 16 private by default. This means that boards and pins for users under 16 are not visible or accessible to anyone but the user themselves. 

Pinterest has also introduced a way to report a pin for including “nudity, non-nudity or intentional misuse involving minors.” And you now have the ability to report an entire board, not just the individual pins.

Pinterest also says it will use more artificial intelligence (AI) to find and automatically block  people who use the platform inappropriately. It will also ask people to verify their age when they sign up.

Additionally, Pinterest will soon reintroduce the ability for teens to share their inspiration with the people they know, but only if they grant permission for those individuals to view their content.

You can stay up to date on Pinterest’s plans in their teen safety hub. These changes are aimed at limiting the exposure of underage users to potential predators and providing a safer environment for teenagers to explore their interests and passions.

How You Can Protect Your Child on Pinterest

Mom and daughter on the computer

While Pinterest is working to improve its platform’s safety, it’s essential for parents to take an active role in supervising their teen’s online activities. Here are some ways you can help protect your teen on Pinterest:

Communicate: Talk to your kid about the potential dangers they may encounter online, including on Pinterest. Encourage open communication and make sure they understand the importance of being cautious when sharing personal information, pictures, or engaging with strangers on the platform.

Monitor their Pinterest activity: Keep an eye on your teen’s boards and pins to ensure they are not sharing inappropriate content or engaging with suspicious users. You can also follow their account to receive updates on their activity.

Use upcoming parental control features: Pinterest is planning to launch a new feature that will allow parents to require a passcode for their teen to change certain account settings. This added security measure can help you maintain control over your child’s privacy and safety settings.

Teach them about privacy settings: Familiarize yourself and your teen with Pinterest’s privacy settings. Make sure your child’s account is set to private and that they understand how to adjust their settings to control who can view their content.

Encourage safe sharing: Remind your child that they should only share their content with people they know and trust. They should be cautious about granting access to their boards and pins to unfamiliar individuals.

Report inappropriate content and users: If you or your child come across inappropriate content or suspicious users on Pinterest, report them immediately. This can help protect not only your child, but also other users on the platform.

A list of different things to report a Pin for on Pinterest

Stay informed: Stay updated on the latest developments in online safety and privacy. As technology and social media platforms continue to evolve, it’s crucial to be aware of new risks and measures that can help protect your child.

Pinterest can be an inspiring and enjoyable platform for tweens and tweens to explore their interests and passions, but parents need to stay involved to ensure their safety. By utilizing available tools and fostering open communication with your child, you can help protect them from potential predators while they continue to enjoy the benefits of Pinterest.

As parents, we want the best for our children, and seeing them struggle with stress and anxiety can be incredibly difficult. Unfortunately, social media use, screen time addiction, and FOMO (fear of missing out) are all common contributors to these issues, especially in the tween age group. Here’s how you can help your child cope.

What are stress and anxiety?

Stress is a natural response to a perceived threat, whether that threat is real or imagined. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a feeling of unease or worry about what might happen in the future. Both stress and anxiety are normal, but when they become overwhelming or interfere with daily life, they can become problematic.

How social media use and screen time can contribute to stress and anxiety

Social media use and screen time addiction can exacerbate stress and anxiety in a number of ways. For example, constant exposure to social media can create a feeling of FOMO, where kids feel like they are missing out on peer bonding and group experiences  if they are not constantly checking their feeds. 

This feeling is particularly problematic for teenagers who struggle with the ability to develop and sustain meaningful relationships with others. According to a 2018 report by Common Sense Media, approximately 70% of teenagers with low social-emotional well-being say that they sometimes feel left out or excluded when using social media. 

In addition, social media can contribute to a sense of comparison and competition, where tweens are constantly comparing themselves to others and feeling like they are not measuring up. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, which can contribute to stress and anxiety.

Finally, excessive screen time can exacerbate suicidal behavior and disrupt sleep patterns, which is stressful on the body. When tweens do not get enough sleep, they may feel irritable, anxious, or overwhelmed, which can make it difficult to manage big emotions.

Strategies and techniques for parents

As a parent, it can be difficult to know how to help your tween manage stress and anxiety exacerbated by social media use and excessive screen time. However, there are a number of practical strategies and techniques you can use to support your child at home.

Foster a positive relationship with social media

Social media is not inherently bad and can actually provide many benefits, such as staying connected with friends and family or accessing educational resources. Instead of demonizing social media, it’s important to foster a positive relationship with it. Encourage your child to use social media in a responsible and healthy way, such as setting boundaries on screen time, following kid-friendly accounts, and taking breaks from social media when necessary.

Stay engaged with what your kids are seeing and doing online

While there are many benefits to the internet, there are also risks, such as exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and online predators. By staying engaged and monitoring your child’s online activity, you can help protect them from these risks and ensure that they are engaging with the internet in a safe and responsible way. In addition, staying engaged with your child’s online activity can help you better understand their interests and concerns, and it can provide opportunities for open and honest communication about difficult topics.

Model healthy behaviors

As a parent, you can lead by example when it comes to technology. This means setting boundaries on your own screen time, engaging in outdoor activities, practicing mindfulness techniques, and talking about your own feelings in a positive way. By modeling healthy behaviors, you can show your child that managing their emotions  is a priority, and that it is possible to live a balanced and fulfilling life without relying on screens.

Encourage outdoor activities

Encouraging your child to spend time outside can be a great way to reduce stress and anxiety. Outdoor activities, such as hiking, biking, or playing in the park, can provide a sense of calm and relaxation. Heading outside can also help your child disconnect from the pressures of social media and screen time.

Teach mindfulness techniques

Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can be a powerful tool when tweens feel stressed out or anxious. Encourage your child to take a few deep breaths when they are feeling overwhelmed, or teach them a simple meditation technique, such as focusing on their breath or repeating a calming phrase. 

The 5-4-3-2-1 ground method is a popular option: ask your child to sit quietly and look at five things they can see, four things they can feel, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste. This method is a helpful (and easy-to-remember) way to encourage kids to focus on the present, rather than external stressors outside of their control.

Talk to your child

One of the most important things you can do to support your child is to talk to them about their feelings. Encourage your child to share their worries and concerns, and let them know that it is okay to feel stressed or anxious. Listen to them without judgment, and offer reassurance and support.

Seek professional help if necessary

If your child’s stress responses are interfering with their daily life, it may be necessary to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance for managing  your child’s emotional triggers, and they can help your child develop coping skills and strategies for dealing with difficult emotions.

The bottom line

Stress and anxiety can be difficult challenges to navigate, especially for tweens who find themselves spending too much time behind screens. But by practicing healthy behaviors, such as limiting screen time, teaching mindfulness techniques, and seeking professional help if necessary, parents can provide effective support for their tweens. Remember, managing stress and anxiety is an ongoing process, and it is important to be patient, understanding, and supportive as your child navigates these challenges.

More and more parents are being asked by their kids if they can use ChatGPT. It’s understandable — the revolutionary AI service is everywhere you look these days, and it’s natural that children and especially teens would be curious about it. 

OpenAI requires users to be 13 years old to sign up for an account. But you can sign up for an account yourself and use it with younger children.

On one hand, using a service like ChatGPT can offer numerous benefits to your teen or pre-teen, including homework help, learning opportunities, and entertainment. On the other hand, there are also potential risks to consider. Here are some of the pros and cons, recommendations for managing the risks, and advice for talking to your child about your decision.

The Benefits of Letting Your Child Use ChatGPT 

AI services like ChatGPT can be incredibly beneficial for kids in a number of ways. Here are some examples:

Homework help: If your child is struggling with a particular subject or assignment, they can use AI services like ChatGPT to get quick answers or explanations. This can help them understand the material better and complete their homework more efficiently.

Learning opportunities: AI services can offer children a unique opportunity to learn about new topics or explore their interests. For example, if your child is interested in dinosaurs, they can ask ChatGPT questions about the different types of dinosaurs or their habitats. AI can be helpful for more advanced interests, too: ChatGPT can be especially helpful for kids who want to learn how to code.

Fun: It’s even better for helping them flex their creative muscles, as the fun ways you can use ChatGPT are seemingly endless. Your kid can ask ChatGPT to tell them a joke, tell them a funny story, and even brainstorm what would happen if dinosaurs could talk.

Communication skills: AI chatbots perform best when the prompts are clear and direct. So,  chatting with an AI service can help children develop  their ability to ask questions, express themselves clearly, and listen to others.

Life skills: By the time your kids graduate from high school, the ability to work and communicate with AI platforms will be an essential skill for many in college and in the workplace. From crafting ChatGPT prompts to generate research paper topics to using one of the many AI platforms to write or check code,  giving your kids access to AI services now will give them a head start on learning this crucial skill. 

The Risks of Letting Your Child Use ChatGPT

Mother and daughter

As a new and relatively unknown technology, there are obviously potential risks to letting your child use AI tools like ChatGPT. 

Dependence: If your child becomes too reliant on AI services, they may not develop important critical thinking and problem-solving skills. AI is a tool, but it isn’t a replacement for developing essential skills like the ability to develop a strong argument or research an important topic. 

Privacy concerns: AI services may collect personal information about your child, such as their name, age, and location. This information could be used for targeted advertising or other purposes.

Inappropriate content: Some AI services may not filter out inappropriate content, such as explicit language or violent images. This could be harmful or upsetting to your child.

Safety risks: In rare cases, AI services could pose a safety risk if they give your child dangerous or inaccurate information.

Plagiarism: Your kid could be tempted to pass off the output they get from ChatGPT as their own.  Make sure your kids understand that it’s not OK to present information from this tool as their own work, especially for homework. Most schools have a zero-tolerance policy for plagiarism and consider it cheating. It’s important to talk to your child about the importance of using ChatGPT as a thought-starter, not as a replacement for their work. 

@bright_canary

You’ve probably heard about ChatGPT, the AI chatbot that can do everything from answer questions to write a social caption. (🤔) But ChatGPT carries some risks, such as privacy concerns and plagiarism. If you’re concerned about giving your child access to ChatGPT, there are some AI services that are explicitly kid-friendly. Here are a few! @MIT #ai #parentingtips #parentsoftiktok

♬ Futurmastic – Dombresky

Managing the Risks

You can minimize the potential downsides while letting your child use ChatGPT by talking to your child and staying connected to how they’re using AI.

Monitor your child’s usage: Use the service alongside your child, at least initially. Keep an eye on how often your child is using AI services and what they’re using them for.  Let your child know what the rules are for using AI services, and add them to your family’s digital device contract. Set limits if necessary, including when and how often they can use them — especially as it relates to schoolwork. 

Talk to your child about privacy: Explain to your child the importance of protecting their personal information and encourage them to be cautious about what they share online.

Encourage critical thinking: Remind your child that AI services are not always 100% accurate, and encourage them to think critically about the information they receive. Explain the importance of checking the credibility of a source before trusting the information. For example, you could teach your kids how to ask ChatGPT for sources when it provides answers. Then, have them manually check that the sources are being accurately cited.

Stay involved: Continue to be involved in your child’s education and offer them support and guidance when they need it. Encourage your child to ask questions about AI services and how they work, and to come to you if they get answers from ChatGPT that they don’t understand.

How to Set Up a ChatGPT Account to Use With Your Child

Father and son on a computer

You must be 18 years old to create an account with OpenAI to use ChatGPT. But you can create an account for yourself and use it with your child.

  1. Start by going to chat.openai.com 
  2. Create an account (“Sign up”) with your email address
  3. Click on “new chat” in the top left corner, and start your query/conversation

You’ll have access to ChatGPT 3.5 by default; if you want access to the more powerful ChatGPT 4, you’ll have to become a ChatGPT Plus user for a monthly fee (currently $22/month). ChatGPT 3.5 should be sufficient for you and your child to do casual queries, if you just want to get a feel for the technology. 

Kid-Friendly AI Services

If you’re concerned about giving your child access to ChatGPT, there are some AI services that are explicitly kid-friendly. Here are a few:

  • Cognimates: An AI education platform for building games, programming robots, and training AI models
  • Scratch: A programming language that allows kids to create their own games, animations, and interactive stories.
  • Woebot: A chatbot that offers mental health support and tools for managing anxiety and stress.
  • MyKlovr: An AI-powered college counseling platform that helps students plan and prepare for their college applications.

The Bottom Line

Allowing your child to use AI services like ChatGPT is more a matter of “when” and “how” than “if,” given the way it’s changing work and school. As a parent, you can choose the best time to introduce your child to AI, and how to do it in a way that maximizes the benefits and manages the risks. 

YouTube has recently updated its guidelines to protect children from the harmful effects of eating disorder videos. The popular platform is now prohibiting or age-gating videos that could prompt users, particularly tweens and teens, to imitate dangerous behaviors associated with eating disorders. 

But how do you identify these videos if your kid is watching them on other platforms, like TikTok or Instagram? And how do you talk about it?

The Scope of the Problem

Eating disorders are a serious issue among children and teens. Girls are more than twice as likely to develop an eating disorder, and up to 13.2% of girls will have an eating disorder before the age of 20. Most girls experience the first symptoms of an eating disorder between 13 and 17 years old. 

Eating disorder content can be especially harmful to teen and preteen girls, who are more susceptible to the pressures of societal beauty standards and body image issues. Research shows that girls are at a higher risk of developing eating disorders than boys, with the majority of cases occurring during adolescence.

But certain types of eating disordered behavior (including binge eating, purging, laxative abuse, and fasting for weight loss) are nearly as common among males as they are among females. Although boys are less likely to develop eating disorders, they are at a higher risk of dying from it when they do because it’s more likely to be overlooked. 

All of this translates to millions of young people struggling with these life-threatening conditions.

The Impact of Watching Videos That Feature Eating Disordered Behaviors

Videos that glorify or promote eating disorders have long been removed from YouTube. The updated guidelines now also target content that could lead at-risk users to imitate harmful behaviors. For example, videos that show or encourage purging after eating or severely restricting calories will be prohibited. Likewise, content that promotes weight-based bullying in the context of eating disorders will also be banned.

Child psychologists and eating disorder experts have long warned about the potential harm of such content. Multiple studies have found the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards can be heightened by social media and online content, including harmful eating disorder videos.

Consuming harmful eating disorder content can have specific consequences, such as:

  • Lower self-esteem: Exposure to content that promotes an unhealthy and unrealistic body image can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Increased risk of depression and anxiety: Studies have shown that kids who struggle with body dissatisfaction are more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety.
  • Social isolation: Kids who feel ashamed or embarrassed about their bodies may withdraw from social activities, further exacerbating feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Identifying Eating Disorder Videos

By understanding the various types of harmful content, you can be better prepared to identify when your tween or teen is watching videos that are encouraging eating disordered behaviors. For example, if you’re using a monitoring app to review your child’s Instagram feed, you should be concerned if you spot videos that promote extreme diets or dangerous “detox” diets. Here are some other categories to watch out for:

Pro-eating disorder (pro-ED) content: These videos explicitly promote eating disorders as a lifestyle choice or weight loss method. They may provide “tips and tricks” for engaging in harmful behaviors like starving, binging, or purging, and often use language that glorifies eating disorders.

Thinspiration or fitspiration videos: These videos showcase images of extremely thin or fit individuals as inspiration for weight loss or fitness goals. While some may seem motivational, they often perpetuate unrealistic body standards and can contribute to body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors.

Extreme dieting or detox videos: Content that promotes extreme calorie restriction, fad diets, or detox regimens can be harmful, especially to impressionable tweens and teens. These videos may encourage unhealthy and unsustainable eating habits, potentially leading to eating disorders.

Food and weight-related challenges: Some online challenges focus on food consumption or weight loss, such as the “Cotton Ball Diet” or “Skinny Girl Challenge.” These challenges can normalize disordered eating behaviors and may encourage tweens and teens to engage in dangerous practices to achieve the challenge’s goals.

Weight-based bullying or body-shaming videos: Content that mocks, ridicules, or humiliates individuals based on their weight or appearance can be damaging to a person’s self-esteem and may contribute to the development of eating disorders. It’s essential to teach your child the importance of empathy and respect for others, regardless of their appearance.

By familiarizing yourself with these categories, you can be more vigilant in monitoring the content your tween or teen is exposed to online. Encourage open communication about their online experiences and make sure they understand the potential harm in consuming videos that encourage or enable eating disorders.

How to Talk to Your Kids About the Dangers of Videos That Encourage Eating Disorders

Even when videos don’t directly promote eating disorders, they can still subtly encourage harmful behaviors and attitudes. As a parent, it’s crucial to address these more insidious influences and educate your tweens and teens on the potential long-term effects of watching such content. Here are some tips on how to discuss the dangers of these videos with your child.

Recognize the subtlety

Explain to your child that harmful content doesn’t always appear dangerous at first glance. It may be disguised as health or fitness advice, motivational stories, or even innocent entertainment. By recognizing the subtlety, they can be more aware of the potential harm in certain videos.

Emphasize the cumulative impact

Explain to your child that even though a single video may not seem harmful, the more they watch, the more likely they are to internalize these unhealthy messages, which can gradually shape their attitudes and beliefs about their body, food, and self-worth.

Encourage critical thinking

Ask them to consider the video’s purpose, the message it’s conveying, and whether it promotes a healthy or harmful view of body image and eating habits.

Share real-life examples

Provide examples of how subtle messages in videos can lead to harmful behaviors, such as extreme dieting or excessive exercise. These examples can help illustrate the dangers of seemingly innocuous content.

Promote positive influences

Encourage your child to follow social media accounts and watch videos that promote body positivity, self-acceptance, and healthy habits. By surrounding themselves with positive influences, they can counteract the negative effects of harmful content.

Keep the conversation open

Make sure your child knows they can come to you with any concerns or questions about the content they encounter online. Establishing open communication will help ensure they feel comfortable discussing potential issues with you.

By discussing the subtle and long-term effects of videos that encourage eating disordered behaviors, you can help your tweens and teens develop a healthy and critical approach to the content they consume. This awareness and understanding can protect them from the potentially harmful impact of such videos, whether they’re watching a video on TikTok or reading about someone’s experience online.

The BrightCanary Breakdown series distills research about kids, the internet, and social media into essential takeaways.

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for young people. In 2022, Oregon Health & Science University researchers found a startling fivefold increase in suicide rates among 10- to 12-year-olds over the past decade. Adolescence can be an especially difficult time because kids are going through so many changes and feeling pressure to fit in socially.

But how does technology (more specifically, screen time) affect suicidal behavior — especially for tweens?

Researchers at several institutions — including UCLA, USC, John Hopkins University, University of Texas, and the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa — wanted to find out. Over two years, they followed 11,633 U.S. children who reported an average of 4 hours per day of total screen time, and published their results in an April 2023 report titled “Screen time and suicidal behaviors among U.S. children 9–11 years old.”

Why did they do this study?

Studies to date have shown that spending too much time looking at screens can have a bad effect on mental health — but there are some problems with them. Most of the studies only look at one point in time, focus on adults or adolescents 13 and over, and don’t all agree on what the results mean. 

Some studies find that there’s not much of a connection between using technology and feeling bad. Others find there is a connection, especially if someone spends a lot of time on screens and feels depressed or thinks about hurting themselves. 

There haven’t been many studies that look at different types of screen time and how they relate to suicidal behavior in a large population of young people long-termusing official criteria for suicidal behavior. And there have been very few studies focused on tweens.

What did they find? 

Excessive screen time has a small impact on suicidal behavior, scaling with usage:

  • At the two-year-follow-up, 1.38% of the sample reported at least one instance of suicidal behavior. 
  • Each additional hour of total screen time was associated with 1.09 higher odds of suicidal behaviors. 
  • Higher screen time was associated with higher odds of reporting suicidal behaviors at the two-year follow-up. 

Is any one type of screen worse than others?

Each additional hour of texting, video chatting, watching videos, and playing video games was associated with higher odds of suicidal behaviors, compared to other types of screens.

Interestingly, social media (such as TikTok and Instagram) was not found to have a higher risk, but it was also not widely used by tweens. Researchers speculate this may be different among teens and adults. 

Who was included in the study?

The sample was split almost evenly between boys and girls, and 47.8% were non-White. 

What’s still unknown?

Researchers still don’t know how and why screen time experiences may influence suicidal behavior, although the researchers have several theories.

Our take

Based on the results of this study, you don’t have to ban your kids from screens. Technology provides kids with a range of social, emotional, and practical benefits. There are several studies that find kids benefit from playing video games, for example, such as improvement in cognitive performance and reading skills. Texting with friends can play a role in developing healthy social skills, and YouTube offers kids videos that allow your kids to explore their passions. 

But too much screen time of any sort isn’t good for anyone, and all parents should institute some limits on screen time for their kids — you can find more advice from experts on that here. And if your child is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, talk to a professional. You may also want to limit their screen time even further, and help them find offline outlets for their interests. After all, as enticing as screens may be, learning how to step away from phones and tablets is an important part of learning how to use technology responsibly. 

As parents, we want our children to be happy, healthy, and thriving. However, the reality is that children can experience stress and anxiety just like adults do. As children navigate the ups and downs of school, friendships, and family life, they may experience a range of emotions that can be difficult to manage. 

Here are some common and lesser-known signs that your child may be dealing with stress and anxiety, according to the experts at the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry and The National Institute of Health. Plus, what you can do to help.

Common Signs of Stress and Anxiety in Children

Changes in behavior: One of the most obvious signs that your child may be dealing with stress and anxiety is a change in behavior. This can include becoming more withdrawn, acting out, or becoming overly clingy. Your child may also seem more irritable or moody than usual.

Trouble sleeping: Sleep is essential for children’s growth and development, but stress and anxiety can disrupt sleep patterns. Your child may have trouble falling asleep, wake up frequently during the night, or wake up feeling tired.

Stomach problems: Stress and anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as stomach aches, nausea, and diarrhea. If your child is complaining of these symptoms without any other apparent cause, it may be a sign that they are struggling with stress and anxiety.

Changes in academic performance: School can be a major source of stress for children, particularly as they get older and face more academic and social pressures. If your child is feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork or struggling to keep up with their peers, it may be a sign that they are dealing with stress and anxiety.

Social withdrawal: Children who are dealing with stress and anxiety may start to withdraw from social activities and friendships. They may prefer to spend time alone or avoid activities they used to enjoy.

Lesser-Known Signs of Stress and Anxiety in Children

While the signs listed above are relatively common, there are other, lesser-known signs that your child may be struggling with stress and anxiety. These signs can be harder to spot, but are no less important to recognize and address.

Changes in appetite: Stress and anxiety can impact appetite in different ways. Some children may lose their appetite and eat less than usual, while others may turn to food for comfort and overeat. If you notice a significant change in your child’s eating habits, it may be worth exploring whether they are dealing with stress and anxiety.

Getting sick more often: Stress and anxiety can take a toll on the immune system, making children more susceptible to illness. If your child seems to be getting sick more often than usual, it may be a sign that they are dealing with stress and anxiety.

Difficulty concentrating: Children who are struggling with stress and anxiety may find it hard to concentrate on tasks or stay focused. They may also become forgetful or disorganized, which can further impact their ability to succeed in school or other areas of life.

Physical symptoms: In addition to stomach problems, stress and anxiety can cause a range of physical symptoms that may not be immediately obvious. These can include headaches, muscle tension, and even chest pain. If your child is experiencing unexplained physical symptoms, it may be worth exploring whether they are related to stress and anxiety.

Perfectionism: While striving for excellence is admirable, perfectionism can be a sign of underlying stress and anxiety. Children who feel like they need to be perfect may become overly self-critical, anxious, and avoid taking risks.

What Can You Do to Help?

Here are a few suggestions:

Talk to your child: Encourage your child to open up about how they are feeling. Let them know that it is okay to feel stressed or anxious, and that you are there to support them. Active listening is key here — make sure your child knows that you are truly hearing and understanding them. Avoid dismissing their concerns or telling them to “just relax.”

Create a calm and supportive environment: Children who are dealing with stress and anxiety may benefit from a home environment that signals safety and security. This can include setting aside time to do activities together, creating a peaceful bedroom, and minimizing exposure to media that may be causing stress.

Help your child build coping skills: Coping skills can be an effective way for children to manage stress and anxiety. Encourage your child to try activities such as deep breathing, exercise, or journaling. These activities can help your child feel more in control of their emotions and better equipped to handle stress.

Seek professional help if needed: A mental health professional can work with your child to develop coping strategies and address underlying issues.

It’s important to remember that stress and anxiety are normal parts of life, and that children will inevitably experience them at some point. By recognizing the signs and taking steps to help your child manage their emotions, you can help them develop the resilience they need to navigate life’s challenges.

If your child is curious about joining social media, TikTok is likely top of their list. The video sharing app has skyrocketed in popularity in recent years, and is now the second most-used online platform among teens.

In this guide, we’ll explore what TikTok is and how it works, the different ways to interact on the app, and how safe it is for kids. We’ll also discuss parental controls on the app and how to make your child’s account private, manage their screen time, and monitor their activity. 

How TikTok works

TikTok offers several ways for users to interact with content on the platform. The main functions that your child will use most are the “For You” page, the Feed, and TikTok Live. 

The “For You” page (FYP)

The “For You” page (FYP) is the app’s algorithm-driven feed, displaying videos that TikTok thinks the user will enjoy based on their previous interactions on the app. 

The upside of an interest-based FYP is that it will show your child more of the videos he or she is interested in. The downside is, negative emotions count as interest, too. The app’s algorithm doesn’t distinguish between users “watching and laughing” or “watching intently with fear.” 

The feed

The Feed is a chronological list of videos from accounts the user follows, allowing them to keep up with content from creators they enjoy. This is as close to a curated list as you can get. 

TikTok Live

Lastly, TikTok Live enables users to stream video content in real-time, allowing for live interaction with viewers through comments, gifts, and challenges. 

Is TikTok appropriate for kids?

While TikTok can be a fun and creative platform, parents may have concerns about how safe it is for kids. The minimum age for using TikTok is 13 years old. However, keep in mind that some content on the platform may not be suitable for younger children, including videos that use explicit language or have sexual overtones.

As with any social media app, it’s up to parents to decide whether TikTok is appropriate for their child and to monitor their activity on the platform to ensure they are using it safely and responsibly.

Prefer to watch instead? Check out our video below, or keep scrolling to read the rest of the article!

TikTok parental controls you should know about

TikTok offers a range of parental control features such as screen time management, restricted mode, and limiting who can comment on and message their child’s account. Check out our article on How to Use TikTok Family Pairing to learn more.

How to make your child’s TikTok account private

To make your child’s TikTok account private:

  • Go to their profile page, tap on the three dots in the top right corner, and select “Privacy and Safety.”
  • From there, toggle on the “Private Account” option. This will ensure that only approved users can view their content, follow them, and send them direct messages.
  • It’s also a good idea to remind your child to be mindful of who they accept as followers and to regularly review and remove any followers they do not know or trust.

How to manage your child’s TikTok screen time

There are two ways to manage screen time on TikTok. First, you can use the built-in parental control features on your child’s device, such as Screen Time on iOS, to set app usage limits for TikTok.

Second, the TikTok app offers a Screen Time Management feature that allows you to set daily time limits for your child’s account. To use this feature, go to your child’s profile page, tap on the three dots in the top right corner, select “Digital Wellbeing,” and set a daily time limit for their account. Setting these controls can help your child develop healthy screen habits early.

How to monitor your child’s activity on TikTok

Parents can monitor their kids’ activity on TikTok using various tools. One option is to use TikTok’s Family Pairing feature, which allows parents to link their TikTok account to their child’s account, view their activity history, set screen time limits, and control who can send them messages and comment on their videos. Another option is to use a third-party monitoring app like BrightCanary that flags concerning content on TikTok and other social media platforms and alerts parents when their child has been exposed to anything harmful.

Final thoughts on TikTok

TikTok can be a fun and engaging platform for kids, but parents should be aware of its potential risks and take steps to ensure their child’s safety and well-being. By using parental controls, monitoring their child’s activity, and fostering open communication, parents can help their child enjoy TikTok responsibly and develop healthy screen habits.

As the digital world continues to become more integrated into our lives, it’s important for parents and guardians to set clear boundaries with children about their device use. By implementing a digital device contract, you can help ensure that your kids are using technology safely and responsibly. Setting expectations as a family will help kids develop healthy habits around technology usage, while also providing an opportunity for open dialogue about what kids encounter online.

How to Create a Digital Device Contract 

You can create your own from scratch, or use a customizable one — like our free Digital Device Contract Template.

When customizing the contract for your family, it’s important to provide clear guidelines on how devices should be used. Some of these guidelines may include: 

  • Setting time limits on how long they can spend online each day
  • Establishing rules around which websites they can visit or games they can play
  • Supervising their online activity with a monitoring app like BrightCanary

It’s also important to discuss what types of content are appropriate for them to view or share online across videos, images and text messages. 

In addition to laying out specific rules regarding device usage, a digital device contract should also include consequences if those rules are not followed. For example, if your child goes over the agreed-upon time limit, then there could be restrictions placed on their access for the remainder of the day or week. You may also want to consider rewarding your child for following the rules, such as providing extra time if they have been particularly responsible in their device use. 

When to Introduce a Digital Device Contract 

The ideal moment to first introduce a digital device contract is when your child first gets his or her own phone or tablet. By putting together this document ahead of time, you can ensure that you both understand what is expected from the start. This will help avoid any confusion down the line and make sure that everyone knows exactly where they stand regarding usage rules and expectations. 

Another good time to introduce or update your existing digital device contract is when your family’s circumstances change (e.g., moving house, starting at a new school). This gives you an opportunity to review how things are going so far and make any necessary adjustments. It’s also a good way to reiterate the importance of responsible online behavior and make sure your child is following the rules.

Finally, any time that your child expresses a desire to explore new technologies — whether it’s social media, video streaming services, or something else — it can be useful to have a digital device contract in place to help them understand the consequences of their actions. This can also be a great time to sit down and have an open conversation about the potential dangers of these new technologies and how they should be used safely. 

5 Mistakes to Avoid When Implementing a Digital Device Contract


Talking about your kid’s online activity only when the contract is first implemented

Parents often make the mistake of thinking that talking to their kids about digital device contracts is a one-time conversation. But this type of dialogue should be an ongoing process throughout your child’s development as they learn how to safely and responsibly use technology. It’s important for parents to stay informed on the latest trends in online safety, such as popular phishing scams or major password breaches. That way, you can discuss these topics with your children in an age-appropriate manner. 

Not providing enough detail

It’s important for both parties to understand exactly what is expected from them, so that everyone knows where they stand if any issues arise later on down the line. Be sure to explain each rule clearly and provide examples if necessary. Give your child space to ask questions while you review the contract. 

Not including consequences or enforcement measures

Kids need to know that there are real repercussions for not following through with the terms of the agreement; otherwise, why bother making one at all? Make sure you outline clear consequences ahead of time and enforce them consistently when needed.

Not setting expectations for yourself as a parent

It’s important to remember that you, as the parent, have a responsibility as well. Make sure you set realistic expectations for yourself: be diligent about monitoring your child’s online activity and checking in from time to time to make sure they are abiding by the contract. If there are any issues, be sure to address them immediately and take corrective action if needed. 

You also have the opportunity to lead by example; if your child agrees not to use their phone during meals, you should stay off your phone, too.

Not revisiting the terms of the contract

Lastly, don’t forget to revisit the digital use contract periodically with your child as they grow and learn. As technology advances, so too will the risks associated with it; being aware of these changes can help you keep your child safe online.

By following these tips, you can help ensure that your conversation about digital device contracts goes smoothly and that everyone understands the expectations set out in the agreement. To get started customizing your own contract, download this free template

Tweens laughing and looking at a computer screen together

How do we promote positive development and decrease the risks of social media for tweens? According to a new report, it starts with reevaluating the way we think about digital technology. 

The National Scientific Council on Adolescence, part of the UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent, recently released a new report titled “Engaging, Safe, and Evidence-Based: What Science Tells Us About How to Promote Positive Development and Decrease Risk in Online Spaces for Early Adolescents.” 

The report is focused on recommendations related to social media use by early adolescents, defined as ages 10-13. It’s a lengthy read at 32 pages, but we’ve distilled the major takeaways for you here.

What’s so important about early adolescence in relation to social media?

Early adolescence is the perfect storm of expanding independence, high curiosity, low emotional regulation, and particular susceptibility to social influence.

The report’s authors note that young adolescents are going through a major learning period. During that period, they begin figuring out complex social situations, testing adult limits, and questioning their identities. 

“As they go through these changes, young adolescents are especially sensitive to external social and emotional influences, and compared to older adolescents, they are not as able to regulate their responses to these influences.”

What’s problematic about this age group when it comes to social media?

Social media companies aren’t considering this age group when they build their platforms and features, because technically they shouldn’t be using their platforms. 

The minimum age for all users is 13 for most social media platforms. However, social media use increases dramatically during early adolescence: 38% of 8- to 12-year-olds use social media.

Is social media good or bad for tweens?

It’s both — and whether it’s more bad than good (or vice versa) for your child depends on a variety of factors.

According to the report, social media’s opportunity for good includes:

  • Seeking support
  • Developing identity
  • Social and emotional learning
  • Gaining acceptance

Opportunities for harm include: 

  • Sleep disruption
  • Increased exposure to bullying, pornography, and unhealthy body images
  • Harmful targeted advertising 

What does the report recommend?

The UCLA researchers offer several specific recommendations, grouped into four categories.

Digital technology should scaffold healthy development and promote wellness.

  • These platforms should be explicitly designed to enhance core aspects of positive early adolescent development, maximize wellness, and ensure that the benefits of using digital platforms outweigh the risks. 
  • Designs should be developmentally appropriate and youth-centered, not just “kid versions” of applications and platforms that were originally designed and intended for adult use. Youth, parents, and experts in early adolescent development should all be actively involved in the design of digital platforms for young people.

Digital technology used by young adolescents should incorporate and advance the best available research as part of its design and evaluation process. 

  • Policies regarding the collection and use of personal data should be transparent to users and require parental consent. Digital technology companies should perform ongoing safety monitoring and use young adolescent users’ data to refine features of their platforms to better promote healthy development and well-being and remove features and content that are harmful.
  • Targeted advertising should not be allowed for users below a certain age. 
  • Features that pose known risks for long-term consequences should be highly regulated for users below a certain age, and accurate age verification methods should be enforced. 
  • Both companies and young adolescent users of digital technology should have opportunities to receive training on how to ensure that online spaces for early adolescents are safe.

Digital technology used by young adolescents should incorporate and advance the best available research as part of its design and evaluation process.

  • Tech platforms should rely on research into early adolescent development and resulting expert recommendations and regulations to improve their products. These platforms should also ensure that they promote positive development and limit harm during early adolescence. 
  • An evidence-based approach should be required moving forward.  

All young adolescents should have reliable access to the level of digital connectivity and devices required to fully participate in their education and learning.

  • Tech companies should make their products accessible to all young users who may benefit from their online spaces. Companies should consider ways to overcome access inequities that may arise from fee-based or subscription models.
  • Age requirement algorithms should be inclusive and not reliant on exclusionary requirements like birth certificates or provision of parents’ personal information. 

The report goes into great detail about each of these four recommendations, and you can also watch a panel discussion on the report on YouTube to learn more.

Our take

This report highlights the fact that any progress in this direction requires tech platforms to either prevent tweens from using their products, or acknowledge they’re part of their user base and make design, data collection, and targeting decisions with their best interests in mind. In the meantime, it’s essential for parents to stay informed about what their kids encounter online. BrightCanary is a social media monitoring app that shows you what your child encounters on Instagram, TikTok, Google, and YouTube, as well as text messages on Apple devices.

Tech platforms have a long way to go before they’re appropriate, let alone empowering, for tweens. But parents need accessible tools and settings that help them keep their children safe online sooner, rather than later.

Instagram logo iconFacebook logo icontiktok logo iconYouTube logo iconLinkedIn logo icon
Be the most informed parent in the room.
Sign up for bimonthly digital parenting updates.
Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.
@2024 Tacita, Inc. All Rights Reserved.