In general, passwords shouldn’t be shared. However, there are several valid safety reasons parents might need access to their child’s passwords. But what happens if you discover your child has changed their password without telling you? Should you be concerned? How should you handle it? Read on to learn how to talk to your child about passwords and what to do if they change theirs.  

Reasons to have your child’s passwords

Here are some reasons you might want to have your child’s passwords: 

Password management

Some kids, especially younger or more forgetful ones, might need parental help keeping track of their passwords. Even if your child is older, it’s not a bad idea to have access to one or two important passwords, such as the master password on their computer or their password manager app. This will save you the headache of the password recovery process. 

Safety and security

It’s important that your kid uses strong passwords in order to keep their information safe. Particularly when your child is new to using technology, it can be a good idea to keep an eye on their passwords to make sure the ones they use are secure. 

Parents may also require access to their child’s passwords in order to periodically check their online activity. 

For a child safety app

If you use BrightCanary to monitor your child’s online activity, you need their passwords. Having their login credentials allows you to remotely monitor their text messages, social media, YouTube, and Google, all from your phone. 

Why kids might change their password 

There are several reasons why your child might change their password and not tell you, and most are nothing to worry about. 

• They forgot their password. Your child may have forgotten their password, or it might have expired. In both these cases, they easily could have followed the prompts to reset it and not thought to mention it to you. 
• Boundary testing. It’s totally normal for kids to exert their independence and push boundaries. Even if they have nothing to hide, they might still bristle at the idea of their parents having their passwords. 
• They’re hiding something. Depending on your child, it may not be the most likely reason, but it’s possible they’re doing something online that they don’t want you to find out about.  

Talking to your child about passwords

If you haven’t already had the password conversation with your child, now’s a great time to start. It’s also a great time for a refresher chat. Here are the important points to emphasize: 

• Never share your password with anyone (except your parents). 
• Always choose strong passwords. 
• Change your passwords regularly. 
• Develop a system for keeping track of passwords. 
• Keep parents up to date on new passwords.  

Because password management is so important, consider including these expectations in your digital device contract. 

What to do if your child changes their password

If you discover (or suspect) that your child changed their password without telling you, it’s smart to follow up with them. Here are some suggestions for how to approach it. 

Talk to them 

Before you jump off the deep end speculating all the awful reasons your child might have changed their password, first take one simple step: ask them. Perhaps they simply forgot to tell you. Finding out why they did it will help inform your next steps. 

Remind them why you need their passwords

Reiterate that you’re not using their passwords to spy on your child, but you need their logins to help keep them safe. Emphasize your goal is to protect and support them and to help them learn to use the internet wisely. 

Enforce any consequences

If you discover your child is intentionally concealing their password and you’ve written a consequence for this into your digital device contract, it’s important to enforce it in order to underscore the importance of the situation. 

Help them set up a password manager 

A password manager is an excellent way to remember and protect passwords for both you and your child. Check out BrightCanary’s Password Vault, available for free in the BrightCanary app. 

You may also want to look into ways to prevent kids from easily changing passwords on their devices. For instance, if your child keeps turning off Apple Screen Time, know that you can set a passcode to limit their access.

Final thoughts 

As a parent, it’s important to teach your child how to manage their passwords, which may mean you need access to them. If they change a password without telling you, the first step is to find out why they did it and remind them why you need access to it. A written agreement about password sharing is a valuable tool to help you in your efforts.