You’ve discovered that your child is being bullied online, also known as cyberbullying. Figuring out how to help them can feel daunting, but you aren’t alone. Read on for practical cyberbullying advice and what to do if your child is being bullied online, from prevention to action.
If your child is being harassed or threatened online, your goal is to get a fuller picture of the situation so you can determine how to best support your child.
Whether your child comes to talk to you or you get an alert from your monitoring app that your child is being bullied, you’re coming into the situation without any context — it’s important to take a step back and find out what led to the bullying.
Understand that your child may be hesitant to talk to you about being bullied. They might be afraid of getting in trouble or embarrassed about the situation. Projecting calm (even if you feel anything but calm on the inside) will help them feel safer opening up.
Here are conversation-starters to get you going:
Children who are bullied often experience shame and think they did something to deserve the way they were treated. Let them know this isn’t their fault and that no one deserves to be treated this way, no matter what happened leading up to it.
Don’t minimize the situation or make excuses for the aggressor. It’s important that your words and actions convey unconditional support and a desire to stop the bullying.
Print or take screenshots of messages, posts, videos, and any other items that show your child is being bullied. This evidence may be useful in the case of an investigation. Keep notes on key details, such as:
BrightCanary’s concerning content alerts can be helpful here. For instance, if your child is receiving threatening text messages, you can take screenshots of the message summaries, full text thread, and even deleted texts.
Encourage your child to block the person on whatever platform the bullying is occurring. But make sure to listen to your child if they are afraid this will only make things worse. They are the expert on the social dynamics of their peer group.
School policies on cyberbullying vary widely. Some schools don’t take direct action because online bullying is seen as taking place off school grounds. At the very least, teachers and administrators need to be aware of what’s going on in case it spills over into the school day.
Teachers are also an important set of eyes on your child’s emotional well-being and how the bullying is impacting them. They may even be able to offer helpful cyberbullying advice based on what they understand about the social dynamics at play. After all, teachers are on the front lines.
Cyberbullying violates the terms of service for all legitimate service providers such as social media sites, gaming platforms, and email and cell phone companies. Depending on the situation, the provider may be able to help stop the bullying. For a list of updated contact information, go to cyberbullying.org/report.
If the bullying is based on gender, race, or disability, contact the Office of Civil Rights. The U.S. Department of Education takes cases of discrimination very seriously and may be able to provide assistance.
A skilled counselor can help your child and your family navigate the situation and lessen the emotional impact. If you need recommendations for providers, ask your child’s pediatrician, the school, or your health insurance company.
If the bullying involves physical threats, contact law enforcement. If your local police department isn’t helpful, contact county or state officials, as they often have more expertise and resources for dealing with technology-related crimes.
The chances of your child witnessing cyberbullying are even greater than them being a victim. This is especially true because cyberbullying can happen anywhere, from social media to text messages.
Here are some actions you can take if your child witnesses harassment:
The impact of cyberbullying on kids is well-documented and should not be taken lightly. Fortunately, by taking swift and considered action, parents can help their child navigate the experience of online bullying and lessen its impact.
