How to Tell if Your Child Is Using a VPN

It can feel like our job is to stay two steps ahead of our kids, while their mission is to stay three steps ahead of us. This is especially true when it comes to the measures we put in place to keep them safe online. VPNs are becoming a popular way for kids to circumvent parental control software. If you’re asking yourself, “How can I tell if my child is using a VPN?” read on to learn about VPNs, how to know if your child is using one, and what you can do about it. 

What is a VPN? 

VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. Originally created as a tool to allow workers to safely log into their corporate network remotely, VPNs work by masking IP addresses. This masking serves two security purposes: 

1. Makes it appear like the user is in a different location, which makes it more difficult for others to uncover their identity. 
2. Encrypts incoming and outgoing data so it can’t be intercepted and exploited.

Before you start worrying if you need a VPN, let me put your mind at ease. While VPNs serve a specific purpose in corporate environments, they’re typically unnecessary for the casual user. If your browser’s address bar displays https at the front of a URL, your data is as securely encrypted as it would be using a VPN. And most browsers alert you if a website you’re about to enter is unsecured. 

What you might need to worry about, however, is if your child is using a VPN to get around parental controls. 

Signs your child might be using a VPN

Here are some things to look for if you’re concerned your child might be using a VPN:

• Unusually high data usage. VPNs increase data use between 4-20%. However, other things can also cause a sudden increase in data use, like social media, streaming services, and gaming. If you notice this happening on your child’s device, treat it as one data point, not conclusive proof. 
• They’re accessing restricted content. If your child is accessing content you’ve blocked, they’re getting around your controls somehow — and a VPN could be the culprit.  
• You find a VPN or new browser extension installed. It’s a good idea to periodically check your child’s device. Try typing “VPN” into their phone’s search tool. This will identify whether they’ve downloaded any apps that provide a VPN. You can also look for “VPN” or a VPN icon (often a shield or a lock) near the signal bars on their phone. However, your child is likely savvy enough to not leave the VPN on at all times. One option is to implement periodic spot-checks while they’re actively using the device.

Does a VPN interfere with parental controls? 

VPNs may interfere with parental controls, depending on their purpose. Parental controls that block or restrict content, websites, and apps typically use the user’s IP address to apply the rules you set. If your child uses a VPN, their IP address is masked by a different one, so the filters and restrictions you’ve put in place won’t work. 

VPNs operate at the network level and don’t impact how all parental control apps function. For example, BrightCanary monitors your child’s activity at the account level, so it will still work even if your child uses a VPN. 

What to do if your child is using a VPN

If your child is using a VPN, here are some tips: 

Ask questions 

Your first step is to ask why they’re using a VPN. It’s possible they weren’t trying to hide anything from you at all. For example, some kids use VPNs because they don’t want companies to track them.

Explain the risks

Discuss the importance of online safety and why you want to monitor their exposure to problematic content in the first place. Explain that your goal is to keep them safe, not punish them.  

Use a parental monitoring app they can’t get around with a VPN

BrightCanary can’t be circumvented with a VPN — as long as your child is logged in to the accounts you want to monitor, the app will be able to monitor their activity. 

BrightCanary also uses an approach of information rather than restriction. It gives parents insight into their child’s online activity so they can start conversations with their child if something problematic arises. This is a more effective and sustainable approach than playing whack-a-mole to try and prevent your child from getting around filters and restrictions. 

Final thoughts 

Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are a surprisingly common method kids use to get around parental controls. To keep children safe online, parents should practice open communication and use appropriate monitoring tools, like BrightCanary, that can’t be subverted by VPNs.