Who among us hasn’t scrolled through social media and felt that particular combination of jealousy, anxiety, and unease from seeing the fabulous things others are doing in their fabulous lives with their fabulous friends? Now, imagine experiencing that as a teen. (I shudder at the thought!)
The fear of missing out (FOMO) can lead to negative mental health consequences in adolescents, such as anxiety and even a decline in academic performance. It’s important for parents to take steps to combat the impact, especially when their kids begin connecting with friends online. Here’s how to deal with FOMO and strategies to help lessen its impact.
FOMO stands for Fear of Missing Out. The term refers to the fear of not being included in something fun, interesting, or enjoyable that others are doing, particularly peers.
The acronym has been around for more than 20 years and has even earned a place in the dictionary. But its impact on teens is more relevant than ever because teens today have more access, more visibility, and more difficulty getting away from what their friends are doing online.
FOMO can make kids anxious about being excluded. It can also lead them to perceive their lives as less exciting than those of their peers, which can further exacerbate their anxiety.
Research has shown that FOMO can lead to compulsive social media use. That is a significant trigger for social media fatigue, resulting in elevated anxiety and depression.
FOMO is also associated with problems sleeping, depression, attention span, and negative impacts on physical well-being. In short: FOMO isn’t just something your child is dealing with among their friend group. It can have real and lingering effects on their mental, emotional, and physical health.
While the term FOMO may be a 21st-century invention, the phenomenon is certainly not new. It is, however, made much thornier by the existence of social media.
The constant exposure to a carefully-curated window into the lives of their peers and the resulting comparison to their own messily real life is enough to make any teen feel FOMO. But it’s not as simple as just logging off to feel better.
Because so much of the social lives of teens has shifted online, kids can also feel like they’re missing out if they’re not constantly checking their social feeds or group chats. It’s a double-edged sword that’s tricky for teens to escape.
Here are some potential red flags that could indicate your child is struggling with FOMO:
If you suspect your child is dealing with FOMO, here are some ways you can support them:
Focus on your relationship with them. Research suggests that relationships between parents and their teens that are based on trust and open communication are powerful protective factors against FOMO.
Limit social media use. Delaying access to social media, setting limits on device use, and helping kids develop a balanced relationship with social media can help minimize FOMO’s negative health effects.
Encourage real-life activities and relationships: Simply removing or cutting social media access for your child isn’t likely to help. It may lead to tech envy and the fear of missing things online. Instead, replace the connections that social media brings them with offline alternatives. Offer to drive your teen to see their friends or host a hangout at your house. Encourage your child to explore screen-free interests and hobbies, particularly ones that get them out of the house and around other people.
Help them see through the facade. Explain that people tend to show their best moments online, often omitting a big part of the picture. For example, teens may post pics of getting ready to go out with the girls, but fail to mention the party was totally lousy when they got there. Remembering that they never have the full context when looking at other’s social media can help kids overcome the feeling that they’re missing out.
Create space for digital detoxes. By establishing household expectations around device use, you provide a structure for daily digital detoxes. Play around with what works for your family, such as phones off an hour before bed or no devices at the dinner table.
Practice digital check-ins. Set aside designated time to spend with your child looking at their social media feeds together. Ask them how their feeds make them feel and check in with them about any big feelings they’re struggling with, like feeling left out or unsure how to spend their time.
Monitor their social media use. BrightCanary uses advanced technology to monitor your child’s social media and texts and alerts you to any issues. This can help you spot signs of FOMO (like comparing themselves to others or feeling sad they aren’t going to a party) so you can start a conversation with your teen. It’s a great compliment to your other efforts to support your child in the digital world.
FOMO can have a negative impact on the mental health and wellbeing of kids. Luckily, there are steps parents can take to mitigate the effects of FOMO and guide their child toward healthier habits around social media and devices. BrightCanary helps parents supervise their child’s social media and texts and alerts them to any issues. This can help parents identify any red flags so they can step in and provide support. Start your free trial today.
