When it comes to keeping a watchful eye (or ear) on your teen, you’re on it: You monitor their social media, you supervise their phone, and you’ve perfected the fine art of the car chat. But we all know there’s a big difference between knowing what your child is talking about and actually understanding what they’re saying — especially if they’re starting to show interest in dating and relationships. That’s why we’ve put together this handy guide to teen dating lingo to help you decipher what all those messages mean.
Here are some of the more common teen slang terms related to dating, sex, and relationships:
53X: Sex
Bae: Short for baby or an acronym for “before anyone else.” Often used to refer to a romantic partner, but can be used for a good friend.
BBG: An abbreviation for baby girl and used to refer to someone cute.
Beige flag: A quirky or odd trait in a romantic partner. Like the color, a beige flag is seen as neutral — not a deal-breaker, but also not a plus. Beige flags are simply something to note.
Benching: Drawing from sports lingo, to bench someone romantically means to set the person you’re dating aside and see other people.
Beta testing: Similar to the process for testing software, this analogy usually refers to a trial phase of dating. Someone who’s beta testing might casually date as a way to practice their dating skills, explore compatibility, and figure out what they’re looking for in a romantic relationship.
Body count: The number of sexual partners a person has been with.
Catch feels: To develop romantic feelings for someone.
CU46: See you for sex.
Cuffing/cuffing season: Cuffing means to get into a relationship. Cuffing season refers to the winter, when people are looking for someone to stay home and snuggle with.
Curve: To reject or ignore someone’s romantic overtures.
DTF: Stands for “down to f**k.” DTF refers to a person's willingness to engage in sexual activity.
DTR: Stands for “define the relationship.” This usually happens after the “talking” phase (see below), when it’s time to decide whether or not to make things official.
FBOI: An abbreviation for “f**kboy.” This is a derogatory term for a promiscuous male who uses lies and manipulation to get sex.
FWB: Stands for “friends with benefits.” This is an arrangement where two people are sexually involved without being in a romantic relationship.
Ghost: To dump someone or cut off communication with no explanation.
GYAT: An abbreviation for “girl your a** is thick.” It can also mean “goddamn.” It’s an expression of admiration, typically about someone’s rear end.
Pink flag: A step down from a red flag. Pink flags may not be instant deal-breakers, but they can signal the relationship isn’t especially healthy.
Rizz: Short for charisma, someone with rizz is charming or has “game.”
Sigma male: A sigma male is cool and popular, but he’s also an introverted lone wolf and often a bit of a bad boy.
Simp: A “try-hard” who’s desperate for affection, or an insult for a man who is seen as too submissive to women. This term is generally considered degrading.
Situationship: Two people who aren’t officially together, but who have romantic feelings for each other and may be moving in that direction.
Smash: To have casual sex or hook up.
Snack/snacc: An attractive person — someone who looks “good enough to eat.”
Sneaky link: A secret hookup.
Talking: The talking phase is the step between flirting and making things official when two people step up their texting and communication, but aren’t ready to be exclusive yet.
Thirsty: Desperate or over-eager for attention or sex.
Thot: An acronym for “that ho over there.” A derogatory term for a female who’s seen as promiscuous or sexually active. Can also be used as an adjective, as in thotty.
Whole meal: Someone who looks really, really good. A step up from a snack/snacc.
Zaddy: An attractive, stylish (usually older) man.
Zombie-ing: This happens after being ghosted, when the person “comes back from the dead” and tries to pick up again like nothing happened.
Why use words when a picture will do? Teens and emojis are a language of their own. Here are the dating and sex emojis you’ll want to know:
🍆: Penis
🍑: Butt
🐫: Sex (aka “humping”)
🥵: “Hot” in a sexual sense
🚛: “Dump truck,” which refers to a large and/or shapely bottom
🌮: Vagina
🧠: Oral sex
🖐🏻🍆: Handjob
💦: Ejaculation or orgasm
💦 👊: Masturbation
👅: Oral sex
🌮👅: Oral sex, specifically on a female
🤤: Desiring someone sexually (often used in response to nudes)
🍒: Breasts/testicles/virginity
🍝: Nudes, which are often called “noods”
🔨: Sexual activity
🌽: Represents “porn,” especially on TikTok
🎪: Erection
What should you do if you find these terms on your child’s phone? In general, it’s a good idea to set rules about dating and talk with your teen before they start going out with anyone. You might get a lot of eye rolls and groans, but it’s important to discuss expectations ahead of time.
After all, it’s normal for teens to show interest in relationships and dating. You can reiterate your family values and boundaries by sharing how much you want to be involved; for example, if they’re interested in asking someone out, explain that you’re willing to drive them, but only if they follow certain rules. Or if you feel they’re too young to date, explain your reasoning.
For a lot of teens, “dating” just means talking. But if those conversations involve inappropriate content, have a plan about how you’ll handle it. We’ve covered what to do if your child sends inappropriate pictures and what to do when your child sends inappropriate texts.
