If you’re a parent of a tween or teen, you’re no stranger to unusual acronyms and slang. But while some terms are harmless, others are cause for concern. “KYS” is one example — the term is a red flag if your child sends or receives it. But what does KYS mean, and how should you talk to your child about it?
What does KYS mean?
“KYS” stands for “kill yourself.” The term is used to make fun of someone after they do something embarrassing, or it can be used as a form of harassment.
The meaning largely depends on context, but the effect can be hurtful either way. For example, if your teen posts a video of them playing the guitar, a stranger might comment KYS to taunt them. In other instances, a bully might repeatedly text KYS to their victim with the intent to cause them mental or emotional harm.
If you or someone you know is thinking about attempting suicide, please call the toll-free, 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Who uses KYS in texts and messages?
KYS is a form of internet slang that has been around since the early 2000s, where it was used in places like message boards and forums. Today, kids communicate through social media and text messages — so acronyms like KYS have entered texts and inboxes.
KYS appears in places young adult males tend to frequent, like Reddit, Discord, and Steam. But the term can be used by anyone; it can be found on social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok, as well as texts sent by cyberbullies.
What to do if your child’s messages contain KYS
Even if KYS is sent as a joke, it makes light of suicide and should be treated seriously. If you’re monitoring your child’s text messages and see this acronym in their threads, here’s what to do:
1. Stay calm and assess the context
Look at the surrounding messages to understand the context. Sometimes, kids use slang or dark humor without fully grasping the weight of their words.
Check who sent or received the message — is it from a friend, a stranger, or your child using the term themselves?
Look for other warning signs of distress, such as withdrawal, changes in behavior, or other concerning language in their texts.
2. Have a conversation with your child
Approach them with care: Say something like, "Hey, I saw something in your messages that concerned me. Can we talk about it?"
Ask open-ended questions: "I saw ‘KYS’ in a text. Can you help me understand what was happening?"
Listen without judgment: Kids may use extreme language without fully realizing the impact, but it's important to understand if there’s a deeper issue.
3. Gauge their emotional well-being
If your child was joking, explain the seriousness of the phrase and why it can be harmful. Encourage them to be mindful of the words they use, especially when they’re talking to their friends.
If they were on the receiving end of the message, ask how they feel about it and discuss appropriate responses, including blocking or reporting the sender.
If your child is struggling emotionally, ask if they’re feeling okay and let them know they can talk to you about anything.
4. Take action if needed
If the message seems like a real cry for help — whether from your child or someone else — take it seriously.
Encourage your child to support a friend in distress and involve a trusted adult, such as a school counselor, if needed.
If you’re worried about your child’s mental health, seek professional help from a therapist or crisis support.
5. Set digital boundaries and offer support
Discuss online safety and appropriate language use so your child understands the impact of their words.
Encourage open communication so they feel comfortable coming to you with concerns.
Monitor messages using a parental monitoring app like BrightCanary to stay informed about their conversations.
The bottom line
One of the more difficult things to communicate to kids is that even their jokes can have consequences. If they know what KYS means, they should also know that joking about suicide isn’t cool. And if you see the term pop up in their messages, take a moment to step in and have a conversation about it. Sure, it might be nothing — or it might not. To take a proactive approach to monitoring your child’s online activity and messages, start with BrightCanary. Download on the App Store today and start your free trial.
